Upside Quote of the Week
Your success in life will be in direct proportion to what you do after you do what you are expected to do.
- Brian Tracy
p.s. Happy Halloween!
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October 31, 2008
October 28, 2008
The Right to Vote
Since it is only a week until Election Day, I thought this was appropriate to re-print and share.
"The time is always right to do what is right." Martin Luther King
Jim and I went to see the movie Swing Vote with Kevin Costner and Madeline Carroll. I was moved to tears by the story, more than any love story or "chick flick" I've ever seen.
The film was about ethics, integrity and the importance of one man's vote. While it was about politics, it wasn't political and did a great job of not taking sides. But, the movie was also about not giving up on people, no matter how many times they fail.
Kevin Costner, or Bud, plays a loser - a guy who once had dreams but somehow, somewhere lost them throughout his life's journey.
His comments at the end of the movie were compelling, and for whatever reason, I felt his pain. His statement, "America needs someone who's bigger than their speeches," rocked me to my very core. Maybe it was my sense of patriotism and love for the United States of America. Maybe it was the examination of who I am that took place in that brief moment.
This is more than a movie review or my thoughts on Leadership, it is a call to action. The right to vote, the power of one man or woman's voice, cannot be understated. I believe in the freedoms afforded to me each and every day - choices that are made possible because of the people who have gone before me - freedoms to speak, to worship, and to stand up for what is right.
There was a scene in the classroom where Madeline Carroll's character delivers a presentation on the election process. While I do not remember her exact words, her message went something like this:
Developed societies form because of the lack of certain freedoms. As a group, they rise up. However, there is a cycle that has yet to be broken by any one civilization: Bondage to Freedom to Abundance to Apathy and back to Bondage. If we are to break the cycle and remain in Abundance, we need to utilize one of our most basic freedoms - the right to vote.
As I examine my own conscience, I recognize that my voting record has been spotty. I am not proud of this. I have made a commitment to myself to make voting a priority and to vote in every election from this day forward. I challenge you to make a similar commitment - a commitment to abundance instead of apathy. Are you registered to vote? Are you educated on the issues?
Are you willing to make a difference? I know I am...with one person and one vote.
The time is now to make a difference. See you on November 4th!
October 27, 2008
Develop Your Like-ability
Inspiration. The feeling within the body of elevated energy and enthusiasm. To inspire.
My friend Beth Bridges has been inspired to reignite her blog, bethbridges.blogspot.com. She and I are like two peas in a pod on our views about connecting, and the art of influence. Just to give you a sampling of her work and to encourage you to check her out, here is a re-print of one of her posts, entitled "Develop Your Like-ability". Enjoy!
Develop Your Like-ability
As I wrote yesterday, you're going to have a very hard time enjoying networking if you "don't like people". Guess what. Other people aren't going to change. Instead, you must work on your like-ability. Not "likeability" as in how much other people like you, but your ability to like them.
It is possible - even with all those irritating people out there. Here's several keys to doing this.
Stop focusing on other people's faults. Oh, if you're perfect, you can ignore this.
Work on appreciating their positive qualities. No one is all bad.
Recast a slightly annoying trait into an endearing one. There's a limit to this, of course. You'll have a hard time convincing yourself that someone who constantly puts other people down or who tells you how to run your life is "cute".
Here's the most important way to increase your ability to like other people:
Find out what you have in common. Especially if it's an unusual interest or hobby.
There's nothing more enjoyable than finding out that someone has the same passions that you do. You can have a whole conversation on that one thing, even if you're from completely different ends of any spectrum. Lifelong friendships have developed over something as seemingly small as an interest in the same author, or a fondness for an obscure movie producer. And, there's nothing like finding someone else who is a fan of your beleagured team who hasn't won in years. Any Michael Waltrip fans out there? Can't wait 'til next year!
October 24, 2008
Upside Quote of the Week
If you don't like the way the world is, you change it.
You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time.
- Marian Wright Edelman
October 23, 2008
Saying “Yes” to Change!
Remember when you were 5 years old and you could spend hours imagining the possibilities in life? I know I wanted to be a shoemaker, lawyer, and lifetime student all in one year! I’d like for you to take a moment and examine your life right now at the present moment. Have you allowed yourself to become stagnant over time? Has your attitude changed, preventing you from experiencing anything new? Do you find yourself judging situations and saying "no" before you’ve heard the entire story?
My recent move to Miami has brought about significant change in my life. While I’ve always been a fan of change – the kind I can control (ha-ha) – this adventure has been both hilly and rocky. And yet, I am VERY aware that a person's ability to change is tantamount to his or her ability to grow and expand both personally and professionally. Inflexibility is the unwillingness to change. It’s not that you’re not able but that you just simply say “no” to the door that’s being presented to you.
Sometimes you’re presented opportunities to grow at the right moment, but you just don’t see it and don’t realize how ready you are for a change. When I knew that Jim was being transferred and we would be moving, I wasn’t happy. My upside attitude evaporated, and I was crazy-glued to the idea that my life should be exactly like it was.
Then, I started telling myself that this was part of an incredible plan in the Universe. I was on a journey and needed to explore another part of the country to help a broader group of people become upside thinkers.
By proclaiming a resounding “yes” to change, I allowed the unlimited possibilities to appear. And, they’ve been appearing each and every day. Old friends, acquaintances, business relationships, opportunities…it is truly amazing.
So, the next time you are presented with an opportunity to move out of your comfort zone, be it a move across the country or trying something new, say “YES!” with enthusiasm and excitement. Turn off the automatic timer that blocks out anything different and recognize that when you're green you grow, and when you're ripe you rot. It’s that simple.
October 20, 2008
Are Relationships the Same as Partnerships?
In my book Designing Your Destiny, I refer to Upside Impact Partners, or your UIPs that care as much about you and your business as you do. Your UIPs are your VIPs because they understand who you are and have joined in the cause of helping you get where you want to be.
In building authentic relationships, you’re hoping to create these UIPs along the way. Creating an incredible relationship actually paves the way for a partnership. Some people call them a board of directors of a board of advisors. UIPs or partnerships, whether you call them that or not, are critical to success in business and in life.
Think about all of the people with whom you are connected. At this moment, do you have 10 strategic business partnerships, advisors, or UIPs in your corner who are strong professionals? If so, then kudos to you! (What are you doing to strengthen those relationships?) And, if not, why don’t you start recruiting today?
October 17, 2008
Upside Quote of the Week
Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
- Unknown
October 14, 2008
A RocKin' Attitude - The Power of Kindness
In almost every one of my presentations, workshops, and keynote addresses, I speak about the importance of being kind over being right. An attitude that ROCKs is focused on being kind to others first.
Last week, I was on the road again and had several opportunities to practice what I preach. One situation is especially worth sharing.
When I got off the plane, I realized I had forgotten something pretty important to my trip. I decided to take care of it immediately, even though I was feeling a bit jet-lagged. After about five minutes of shopping at this well-known, local retail establishment, I found what I was looking for and headed to the cashier to make my purchase. The item I wanted didn't have a price, and after several minutes, she told me she wouldn't be able to help me. I was tired and angry, and now I was posturing and had my game face on. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to tell her that the customer is always right.
But, I didn't. I took a deep breath instead and paused for a moment. I paused long enough to connect with my Spirit and chose to be kind, hoping that she would see my Spirit too. And then it happened. Right there in the middle of the store, her body changed and so did her energy. The muscles in her face softened and her voice dropped an octave or two. Somehow, someway our spirits connected.
Being kind is about seeing the other person soul-to-soul versus role-to-role. She was more than a minimum wage cashier there to serve me, and when my attitude changed and I treated her with kindness regardless of her behavior, the situation changed right in front of my eyes.
The Power of Kindness. It always works.
Here are my top 3 ways to employ the power of kindness:
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Choose your words wisely, using filters and the 15-second rule. (Pause long enough to let go of your emotional response - up to 15 seconds.)
3. Lastly, think about whether what you are going to say is truly necessary. If it's not, don?t say it.
3+. Practice often!
October 11, 2008
A RoCkin' Attitude - 10 Commandments of Upside Leadership
Part III of having a ROCKin' attitude is consistency. Here are the 10 Commandments of Upside Leadership which are all about the power of influence.
1. Thou shalt recognize the importance of others.
2. Thou shalt listen to other viewpoints.
3. Thou shalt build relationships.
4. Thou shalt honor self first, family second, and work third.
5. Thou shalt remember that life is change but growth is optional.
6. Thou shalt be honest in all dealings, personally and professionally.
7. Thou shalt create a vision that is built on giving back.
8. Thou shalt fully comprehend the meaning of discipline, commitment, and choice.
9. Thou shalt practice the art of saying “I don’t know” if thou does not know.
10. Thou shalt share enthusiasm and excitement with others.
And, thou shalt be consistent, despite the world around you.
October 10, 2008
Upside Quote of the Week
Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. – Bill Bradley
October 05, 2008
A ROckin' Attitude - Open and Honest Communication
Since the second facet in having an attitude that rocks is openness, I thought it would be good to share my resources on communication.
Open and honest communication is essential to fostering teamwork and you guessed it, building relationships (facet #1). Without it, employees lose focus, loyalty to the group weakens, and conflicts arise. In personal relationships, people make up what they do not know which can be disastrous to marriages and families.
As with other leadership principles, you set the tone: Model the behavior you want to see by being open and honest with others.
Whether it is delivering timely, specific praise, or constructive criticism, it is important to let people know where they stand.
Having an attitude that rocks means understanding that while conflict is normal and part of life, holding crucial conversations when necessary will help make the situation easier than ignoring it will.
Lastly, listen to another point of view, focusing on the issue, without assigning blame. Work towards a resolution that’s always best for the organization, not for necessarily for one individual.
Being open and honest isn’t always easy, but the benefits pay high dividends in the long run.
October 03, 2008
Upside Quote of the Week
“You must remember,” a wise person once told me, “that the shadow of your influence will fall across somebody’s path every day of your life. It’s up to you what kind of example you will be and what kind of influence you will have.”
- Calvin Louis Fudge
October 02, 2008
A Rockin' Attitude - 5 “Be”’s to Create Incredible Relationships
If leadership is about influence, then you need both self and others to influence, making relationships an important part of the Art of Leadership. And, if your relationships come first in having an attitude that ROCKs, what does it take to create an incredible relationship?
The Five Be’s to Create Incredible Relationships
• Be of Service – Give and share freely.
My favorite childhood story was The Little Engine that Could. It was the story about a little train that climbed the mountain saying, “I think I can, I think I can…”
This mantra characterized my life. I wanted to work on the most difficult assignments and biggest challenges. I wanted to work on the projects that the best managers had tried to handle. However, I added a few words to the story and they were…”do it alone”.
We need other people. We need their help. And, we need to have a mindset that is willing to help others as well.
• Be Honest – Openness allows for understanding and builds trust.
In a study by Kouzes and Posner on the most important characteristics of a leader, honesty was selected more than any other trait. Whether you call it truth, ethics, principles, integrity, character, or any other number of names, people create relationships with people who keep their promises and can be trusted.
• Be Clear – A clear vision with written goals will help form the foundation of your personal and professional life.
Do you know what you want to happen in your relationships with others? Are you hoping they do business with you, become lifelong friends, or nothing at all? Spend time understanding what you want so you can take the necessary steps, turning possibility into reality.
• Be Present – Live in the moment in order to see the miracles around you.
Imagine if we only celebrated the BIG things in life. Make a list of all of the things you have to be thankful for at this very moment. To live with an attitude of gratitude means being grateful for every challenge and every opportunity, making that a very long list.
• Be Encouraging – To encourage means to inspire others with confidence and hope, contributing to real progress and/or growth.
About 8 years ago when I was living in NJ, I taught Sunday school to 4th graders. During that season of life, I saw how positive discipline encouraged my students to do better and negative comments only hindered their ability to learn.
In my business, I work with adults, understanding that even as adults we need positive feedback and encouragement.
The word “encourage” means to inspire with confidence, to give hope or to contribute to someone’s progress or growth. Encouraging goes far beyond the mere giving of gifts or compliments to others and making them feel good. It is also the way that we unselfishly spend time with others, or listen to them.
Encouraging others is sometimes awkward and takes “courage”. Think about what’s going on in your life and those around you today. What in your life do you need encouragement for? How about those around you?
An attitude that rocks is centered on relationships. May you renew your relationships and create incredible new ones throughout the rest of 2008!