Upside Quote of the Day......
"Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it."
- Raymond Chandler, American novelist
July 01, 2007
Upside Quote of the Day......
"Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it."
- Raymond Chandler, American novelist
June 05, 2007
Crossroads of Life
At one of my last motivational seminars, a woman raised her hand and said, "Why can't things just remain the same?" Being a big proponent of change and someone who deals with change better than most, I paused for a moment to think about where this woman was coming from. Was it fear of the unknown or did she love what she did so much that she couldn't bear the thought of changing? All I knew was that this woman was at a crossroad in her life.
We live in a world that is ever changing. People, organizations, and life continues to evolve, presenting us with new paradigms, ideas, and philosophies every day. I once read a postcard that had a quote that captured what I believe about change --"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
May 07, 2007
Marketing Your Expert Status
Are you an expert in your field? Maybe a better question would be, "Do you believe you are an expert in your field?"
Most of us do what we like. We like it because we're good at it. Why would anyone spend time doing something they don't like? Being an expert is understanding the areas in your life you do well and doing them....doing them often.
One of the most important aspects of understanding your expertise is looking at your strengths, not other people. Have you ever compared yourself to others? If you answered "yes", I encourage you to STOP right now! We all have something that we do well and it's important to focus on our strengths and acknowledge our expert status.
Being a recognized expert is the best way to advance professionally. What is it about you that makes you different than others in your profession? What you are an expert at and how are you going to share it with others?
May 05, 2007
Upside Quote for the Day.....
"If we do not change direction,
we are liable to end up where we are headed."
- Confucius
March 30, 2007
Ralph Waldo Emerson II
I've received a few phone calls from people who faithfully read my blog and want to know what his "What is Success? poem is all about. Here are the words.
What is Success?
To laught often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
March 28, 2007
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I would have liked to have met Ralph Waldo Emerson at a local coffee shop just to get to know him a little better. I quote his work often, especially his poem, "What is Success?" and have carried around several of his pieces in my wallet until the paper became so soft that it actually started to dissintegrate. Today seemed like a great day to share one of his less popular pieces in Upside Living.
"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; Forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; Begin it well and serenely,
And with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This day is all that is good and fair.
It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations,
To waste a moment on the yesterdays."
March 20, 2007
What is Time? vs. What Time is It?
The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as: A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future. Interesting.
The reality is that while most people can tell you what time it is, they can't necessarily tell you what time is because it is a paradox. We speak in minutes, hours, days, and years, and yet, what is it that we are measuring? Regardless of race, ethnicity, social status, etc., etc., time is the same for everyone; we all get the same days in a year, hours in a day, and minutes in an hour.
It's rare to attend a business conference or work retreat and not hear the words "Time Management" mentioned. I guess it's because every moment counts in life and some people know how to make time work for them. Throughout my life, my friends would often comment on how I was able to accomplish so much during the week. Work, household responsibilities, community functions, family gatherings and much, much more. It was as if they thought I had a magic formula or was blessed with more time in my life rather than the ability to manage and leverage what we all are given - 24 hours.
Whether you're at hard at work or hard at play, you are producing something. Be aware of what your product looks like to others and remember that time doesn't stand still for anyone. Make every moment count!
March 17, 2007
Finding Your Pot of Gold
I like cereal. I liked it as a child and I like it even more as an adult. Jim and I usually have a bowl of Cheerios together before he leaves for work. In the 1970's, I was every marketing companies dream child because I would watch television and bug the heck out of my mom to buy me whatever cereal was being advertised. It didn't take much for me to be convinced that I just had to have whatever brand of cereal that bought ad space that week.
Marketing companies do have it right. Kids like animals, creatures, and colors which is why Lucky Charms was on my top 10 list. The commercials always featured Lucky, the cute, charming leprechan who created marshmellow shapes out of his rainbow magic. There were pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, and blue diamonds and Lucky said that they were magically delicious so I believed him!
While the formula of Lucky Charms has changed over the years and some of the shapes no longer exist, I remember how facinated I was with Lucky and the thought of his pot of gold. What is the legend of the pot of gold? Why are rainbows and leprechauns associated with it?
One of the most beautiful sights in nature, the rainbow has been associated with many stories and fables to explain its existence. In the western world, it has become a symbol of hope, beauty, and awe....something "lucky" to have seen but it's because of Irish mythology that leprechauns have become know to hide their pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. Irish Americans could often be heard telling stories about how gold could be found if you followed the rainbow to the end. This tale is fascinating because we'd all like to believe it's true.
Finding your pot of gold involves more than a little luck and good marketing. Finding your pot of gold involves having a clear vision and direction for your journey. Finding your pot of gold involves having a large sphere of influence and upside impact partners to help you on your journey. As Thomas Jefferson said, "I believe in luck. I find that the harder I work, the more I have."
May you find your pot of gold and may it be more brilliant than you ever imagined!
March 12, 2007
Can You Hear Me Now?
The famous saying has triggered a phenomenon where just about everyone is familiar with the Verizon guy. But how often do we truly feel we're not being heard?
In almost every presentation I deliver, I incorporate a block on active listening because I believe that it is an art form that is disappearing in both homes and in the workplace. Speaking from experience, I know there are times when I have tried to share something that I thought was valuable with someone who I knew wasn't listening. Because I felt it was soooo important, I continued, only to be frustrated in the process. Worse yet is being involved in a "conversation" where the person you're speaking with chooses only to hear what they want to hear or isn't mentally present for the conversation.
These situations have an uncomfortableness about them. The upside thinker in me recognizes that sometimes I need to walk away. Walking away isn't giving up on what I believe in. Walking away is about understanding that we are all in a different place in life. Sometimes the message I carry isn't one that everyone is comfortable, ready, or willing to hear.
It's taken me a long time to remember that it's important to love people for who they are and not who you want them to be. That is part of the joy of living on the upside!
March 09, 2007
Direction
As Yogi Berra said, "If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up someplace else." And, so it is with leadership.
Keep in mind that it is important to map out a clear direction for your journey. Don't forget to enjoy the sights along the way!
March 05, 2007
Monsters Under Your Bed
One of my cousins avoided bedtime at all costs. He would kick and scream making the biggest scene whenever the word came up that if Hollywood ever came to his house, I was sure he would've received an Oscar for his performance. It wasn't that my cousin wanted to stay up, it was that he was afraid to go to sleep. And, after he fell asleep, once he woke up, he was afraid to get out of bed because he was certain that there were monsters living under his bed.
Last week I had lunch with one of my closest friends who said that she believes that 97% of all people live in fear of something. I don't remember the whole conversation but I do remember thinking about that particular sentence and how it applies to my own life. Am I afraid? If so, what am I afraid of?
Every coach across the world can be heard using the statement "limiting beliefs" at least once a day because whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have our own monsters under the bed, thoughts that keep us from being who we were meant to be. We all have our own set of FEARs -- False Experiences Appearing Real.
While I'd never seen a monster come out of my cousins bed, for him, the fear was real.....very real. Wouldn't it be neat if he could see the monster as his buddy, someone sent to protect him from harm? It takes courage to think about that which we don't like in our lives. It takes courage to acknowledge and face our fears.
I challenge and encourage you to look at your monsters and find the courage to meet with them face to face. Sometimes you need to be uncomfortable in order to grow.
February 27, 2007
Upside Quote of the Day....
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
- John Wooden
February 23, 2007
The Joy of Making Mistakes
One of my clients who is an executive in a medium-sized and growing company called me to tell me he really did it this time. He screwed up. He missed a deadline that was going to cost his company tens of thousands of dollars. My response was probably not what he was expecting, nor what I think he wanted to hear. I simply said, "So? What are you going to do about it now?"
It happens even to the best of us. We don't get the client. We don't make the sale. We don't get what we think we deserve. The bottom line is you can't change the past so what are you going to do about it now.
I thought the phone might have gone dead because my client was quiet. After a few moments, he sighed and asked me what I thought he should do. He forgot that good coaches don't give advice; they make their clients find it themselves. So I asked every coach's favorite question, "What do you think you should do?" (I think that was my supervisor's favorite question when I worked for Customs, as well.)
My client said, "I need to apologize, accept responsibility and be willing to deal with whatever comes next." Ding-Ding-Ding -- Johnny, we have a winner! This man is a genius. If there were three tips to recovering after making the biggest mistakes in our lives, this would be the magic formula.
1. Apologize -- While we'd all like to think we're perfect, we're not. Apologizing is not the same as making an excuse. Lectures are not apologies. Neither is the phrase "I'm sorry" followed by the word "but..." or letting the reciever know that he/she is not perfect, either. Apologizing is letting someone know you regret the choice you made and hope to have to have a chance to do better in the future. A true apology is sincere and shows concern for the receiver. Because you genuinely care, you feel disappointed in yourself for letting him/her down. If the person you let down is yourself, you still need to apologize.
2. Accepting responsibility -- Admit it. When you own your mistake take your lumps, you can find the joy in making the mistake. No doubt you've experienced both great success and great failure in life. This is just another opportunity to get better.
3. Be willing to deal with the consequences -- Choose to learn from your mis-steps. Spend time analyzing what went wrong and what you can do to ensure it never happens again while understanding that there is always a price to pay for making the mistake in the first place. No excuses allowed.
Alexander Pope wrote, "To err is human; to forgive divine." Good leaders understand that errors, mistakes, and mis-steps are part of business. Richard Branson, English entrepreneur worth over 7 billion, has given some of his employees a second chance even after stealing from him. My first supervisor told me that there was nothing that I did that couldn't be fixed, other than injuring someone on the job. By allowing others to find the joy in making mistakes, leaders open the door for characteristics such as responsibility and accountantability to enter -- two components in a healthy, growing, and prosperous organization.
How do you handle yourself when you make mistakes? When others make mistakes?
February 21, 2007
Less Stress In Your Life
Are you ever tired, overwhelmed, or just plain exhaused? Try these 11 steps which I guarantee will de-stress your life and help you find more joy in living.
1. Give yourself a bed time so that you get plenty of rest. If you know you operate better with 8 hours of sleep, parent yourself to ensure you get 8 hours of sleep
2. Start your day ahead of schedule. I don't use an alarm clock; I simply tell my body this is when I want to wake up. Give yourself plenty of time to get up. Remember, if you snooze, you lose. Do not hit the snooze button!
3. Just say "No". While this started off as a campaign for fighting drugs, we should use it to fight off everything in our lives that is stealing from our quality time....keeping us from spending time doing what we truly love.
4. Eat right. Our bodies are energy fields that need proper nutrition. I love to eat junk food -- hot dogs, pizza, chicken wings -- and I eat them when I want to reward myself for good behavior. Feed your body well!
5. Simplify your life. Purchase everything you need, not everything you want and organize your life. When you're organized, you think clearly. You've heard the saying, "Less is More". Less stress = More happiness!
6. Find the joy in the little things. Pay attention to the world around you. Look more. Listen more. Laugh more. Love more. When you find the joy and take life one moment at a time, everything falls into place.
7. Be a friend to have a friend. When we give of ourselves, we make it possible toevelop long-lasting friendships with good people. Seek out people who see your value and love you for who you are.
8. Schedule quality time with yourself. Get to know you. It is the best gift you can give your loved ones. I plan alone time with me every day. Sometimes I take time out for a massage or just to read but I schedule time for me!
9. Live with an attitude of gratitude. Every night before I go to bed, I review the events that took place throughout the day and write down three things for which I'm grateful. This excercise helps me to find the best in others.
10. Forgive. Most people are doing the best they can with what they have in life. Trust that the universe is unfolding just as it should and you are not its manager. Things will not always work out exactly as you imagined.
11. Pray. Ask whatever higher power you believe in for strength throughout the day. For me, it is God. I can do anything through Him. Remember, we can't make it through this journey alone.
Remember, upside thinking is about more happiness, success, and meaning not more happiness, stress, and meaning! Practice de-stressing one day at a time. It will turn into a habit that will bless you throughout your life.
February 14, 2007
Love, Love, Love -- All You Need is Love?
Leadership is my passion. It is the piece that resonates in my being creating fire in my belly. I enjoy talking about it, speaking about it, learning about it and using it. I Love Leadership!
The Beatles rendition of "Love, love, love -- all you need is love", however, doesn't ring true for me. In any relationship, you need more than love. You need commitment, communication and concern for the other person's well being. Jim and I are involved in a wonderful ministry where we share our faith and love with couples who are engaged. One of the motto's of the organization is love is a decsion, which is very upside. You can always choose love. But, what does love got to do with leadership?
Great leaders make the decision to love their people and they choose to love with a servant's heart. The definition of love is deely caring for a person out of kinship or a sense of oneness. This is an integral part of being a "whole" leader. Great leaders are committed to their employees success, willing to openly communicate and share ideas, and continually show concern for their well-being.
In Buckingham and Coffman's book, "First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently", the authors share one of the key discoveries from a Gallup Organization poll. The study was conducted to determine how the best leaders attract, focus and keep talented employees. Over 80,000 managers from all levels across a broad range of countries, industries and companies were interviewed. The most successful companies were companies who had leaders who had answers to 12 questions. Question #5 was, "Does my supervisor or someone at work care about me as a person?" Great leaders care about people. Do you?
May you always choose love on your leadership journey! Ride the Upside!
February 12, 2007
Upside Quote of the Day.......
"The greater thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going."
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)
(Because the past does not determine the future!)
February 11, 2007
Persistence
Og Mandino, one of my all-time favorite American writers said, "I will persist until I succeed." When I lived in New Jersey, I volunteered my time to work with the youth in the community. The group gave presentations, listened, and held open discussion forums for teens. The program fulfilled several needs in the community. I participated because I believe the organizers got it right; modeling is one of the best ways to instill excellence into anyone's life.
One of the leaders in this group had a saying, "It's not about the falling down; it's always about the getting back up." None of us is perfect. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to mess up. There are going to be hurt feelings along the way. However, if we are of the mindset that in the end, I will succeed it will be easy to find the unlimited possiblities in our choices.
I encourage you to examine the times when you got back up vs. the times when you decided to give up. Why was it easier to persist and what made you decide to press on?
May you persist until you succeed on your upside journey for that is the stuff great leaders are made of!
February 05, 2007
A-C-T-I-O-N
A-C-T-I-O-N ~ Action, Action, Action -- we want action. That was the fight cheer at one of the Little League football games when I was growing up. Too often we mistake moving...getting out of bed....for action. Are you just moving through the days, minutes and hours or are you living with purpose? Your purpose is your focus and aim that appears before you clearly every morning and all throughout the day. You know why you need to get out of bed because your purpose is waiting.
One of the three principles of Upside Thinking is "You are where you choose to be." You must choose to take action to live out your purpose. Action, not goals, create results. High-performance comes from action. Excellence comes from action. Self-actualization comes from action. Happiness comes from action. Peace comes from action.
What have you been delaying taking action on? What are you going to commit to act on today?
February 03, 2007
Showing Up
When I joined the For You Network, which is an affiliate of the National Association of Female Executives, two years ago, one of the founding directors would enthusiastically say again and again, "It's all about showing up." So much of life is about showing up. While this woman often referred to showing up as being necessary to meet others, I believe showing up is more than being physically present for an event or activity, it’s about being intentional -- making the decision to not only attend but to extend.
I've shared with you that over ten years ago, when I was still working in Federal law enforcement, I attended a leadership development class. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go but I made the decision to “show up”. The instructor shared that over 90% of all Americans have no direction or long term plan for their lives. 90%! From that day forward, I was determined to be different and decided to live my life with intention so I wrote my mission statement for life which I've tried to live each and every day. Here is part of it:
• To laugh, love, live & be happy.
• To create magic in my life & the lives of those around me.
• To never judge others for life is hard.
• To achieve balance – physically, mentally & spiritually.
• To welcome open & honest communication.
• To have a smile on my face & joy in my heart.
• To live simply, possessing integrity & courage.
• To find the best in others.
• To understand that the Universe is unfolding just the way it should be.
Many of you make the choice to “show up” every week, every day, every hour, despite the difficulties in your personal lives. Showing up isn't easy and that's what makes it so wonderful when it happens. We may not always feel motivated to keep our commitments and we may also wrestle with the time our countless commitments take, but once you make the decision to show up, magic happens. Physically getting out the door is often the biggest hurdle to showing up. Once we’re there, if we bring all of our self along, it's easy to feel good. (I talk about that at on our Catholic Engaged Encounter weekends.)
It’s not enough to believe you want to live an extraordinary life, you must be committed to it....which means you must be committed to showing up each and every moment of your life.
Show up to knowledge — Look for educational opportunites. They're all around you.
Show up to health — Eat your fruits and veggies and excercise.
Show up to kindness — Be gentle and show courtesy to everyone.
Show up to love — Find the best in others...always....for love is a decision.
Show up to leadership — Create a clear vision and be honest as you forge ahead.
Show up to growth — Be open to new ideas and people in order to expand your thoughts, and actions.
Show up to life – Intentionally live out every moment, attempting to be a better & better you.
I challenge you to make a commitment to continue showing up. It’s amazing what the simple practice of showing up can achieve over time. You don’t need to be brilliant, you just need to be consistent. (Just ask my husband who has been running for over 25 years every morning.) Results accumulate if you keep showing up. I live with an attitude of gratitude. Writing in my journal every night, listing all that I am grateful for, reinforces my decision to choose gratefulness. If I only wrote once in a while, it wouldn't have had a life-changing effect.
Hanging behind my desk when I worked in Newark, NJ was one of my favorite sayings --
Pay attention to your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.
Pay attention to your words, for your words become your actions.
Pay attention to your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Pay attention to your habits, for your habits become your character,
Pay attention to your character, for your character becomes your destiny.
Whatever you consistently "show up" to will become your destiny. What will be your destiny?
January 30, 2007
Living with Risk
Life is full of risk. Some people believe just getting out of bed some days can be risky. To "risk" is to take a chance on two very different outcomes -- winning or losing. The most obvious example of an investment that reduces risk would be the purchase of insurance where the buyer pays a guaranteed amount, and is "protected" from a potential loss -- usually a loss that would put a significant dent in the pocketbook. Yet, I know people who don't believe in insurance. Gambling is a risk increasing investment, because although the money being risked would yield a possible large return, the odds are low and the gambler has the potential to lose it all. I know people who don't believe in this either.
Some people make a living as professional risk assessors, combining the probability of an event occurring with the impact that event would have. Adam Sandler assessed risk for a living in the movie "Along Came Polly", starring Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston and Rodolfo, the blind ferret. He even carried it over into his personal life to the nth degree and risked losing the woman he was interesting in getting to know better. I believe risk is part of the upside journey. How else can you determine your Unlimited Possibilities? Are you a risk taker or a risk avoider -- and why?
http://www.alongcamepolly.com
January 25, 2007
Eating "Right"
Food gives our bodies energy. We need energy in order to perform to the best of our ability which is why proper diet and nutrition are important to living a healthy life. The same is true with our minds. What we feed our thoughts day in and day out will create our reality. Our minds react to what they see over and over again.
In high school, I remember my mother saying, "Garbage in. Garbage out." At the time, I didn't know what she meant. Today, not only do I understand where she was coming from...I have become my mother! One example that comes to mind is when I visited a friend in Washington, DC several years ago. She wanted to stay up and watch a show that was very popular at the time but it wasn't the most soul-filling intellectual choice on television. I never saw the show and didn't own a television at the time and I still knew it wasn't food for the spirit. So I told her I was going to bed. When she asked why, I said, "Garbage in. Garbage out." She looked shocked and still teases me about this episode today.
Feeding your body properly is just as important as feeding your spirit. What have you dined on today?
January 22, 2007
Making Mistakes
Get over it. Perfection just isn't an option. Making mistakes is part of life. Growing up, I didn't want to believe it so I fought hard to be perfect. Within the last few years, I've made the decision to surrender. I am not perfect. There -- I said it. I make mistakes. I remember thinking, "Whew! The pressure's off me now that my secret's out." But, the reality is that each and every one of us screws up at some point. No one is error free. We all trip and fall down. The upside question is, "Do you get back up again with ease?"
"You're going to make mistakes in life. It's what you do after the mistakes that counts."
Brandi Chastain (1968 - ) American soccer player, Olympic champion
www.itsnotaboutthebra.com
January 21, 2007
The Center of the Universe
Oh, the joys of living in Southern California! It's January and I still see the sun every day! Today, Jim and I ran errands and wandered around outside. While the wind was blowing, we were grateful to bask in the warmth of the good 'ol California Sunshine! It is one of the things on my list of what I am most grateful for.
The Sun is the star at the center of our solar system and planet Earth orbits the Sun. It serves as the main source of energy for living things on Earth, giving off heat and light.
Questions for your upside journey....What is the one thing that you hold most important in your life? What lies at the center of your universe and gives you energy? What do your thoughts and decisions revolve around every day?
January 14, 2007
The Skrumps
I'm a huge fan of Jim Henson's work. While I was an overachiever in school and primarily an "A" student, I just couldn't find my creative voice. (I'm happy to say we've recently reunited and in certain aspects would've even be able to give 'ol JH a run for his money.) I was probably one of the few kids in school who almost failed art class. I would watch his programming in awe, intrigued at how he made things come alive. Even today, whenever I go to Disney, I never miss going on one of the muppet rides.
Since death of Jim Henson, puppeteer and creator of the muppets, the company has experienced much transition, including the sale of the muppets to Disney. Within the last several years, the Henson family has been looking for a new family of characters to bring to life. John Chandler from the Jim Henson company recently created "The Skrumps", 100's of colorful, funny, alien-like characters. A skrump is defined as a buddy, a pal, a companion. There's Lazy Louie, Raisins, Skrumpy and many, many more. My favorite is "Wishbone", not because he loves himself but because he is a dreamer.
Sometimes it takes characters like the Skrumps to tap into a special part of our brain that will give us a fresh perspective. I encourage you to find places you can go to nourish your soul and foster your dreams. Remember, the upside journey is one of unlimited possibilities!
If you want more information about the Skrumps, check out www.henson.com.
January 12, 2007
Upside Quote for the Day....
"Greatness is a matter of a moment. Goodness is the work of a lifetime."
- Sri Chinmoy
January 04, 2007
The New Year is Here!
Two Thousand and Seven ~ The New Year is here with the chance of a lifetime. Every January, people around the United States believe they are given the chance to re-invent themselves through one of the traditions of the season, the making of New Year's resolutions. This tradition dates back to the early Babylonians where the most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment. Popular modern resolutions often include the promise to lose weight, quit smoking or achieve career advancement.
In reality, we are all given the chance to reinvent ourselves every morning. The beginning of the New Year shouldn’t be the only time to make promises to ourselves to improve our lives. We should wake up every morning and view the day as an opportunity to make a difference – a challenge to be better than we’ve ever been before.
Throughout this month of January, I encourage you to examine the past, celebrate the present and look to the future, knowing it will be amazing. I always purchase a journal and celebrate the past year by listing all that I have – all of my talents, knowledge gained and lessons learned. It is important to acknowledge and appreciate what we have before we can ever ask for more. Then, I challenge myself, just as I challenge you, to make a list of what you want or expect to happen in 2007. Please note that if 2006 wasn’t as prosperous as you would have liked, take heart in the many lessons you’ve learned from your experiences on your upside journey. May you resolve any unhappiness with the past in order to purposefully and passionately move forward….for 2007 will be your best year ever!
December 24, 2006
Holiday Hustle
I refuse to get caught up in the mad rush that occurs the week before December 25th. My mother purchased her gifts starting in September and finished her wrapping by Thanksgiving. Because of her example, I shop all year, choosing to spend the season relaxing and enjoying the good company of friends. I try to see a Christmas play and treat myself to something special.
Yesterday afternoon, I sat spellbound from a phenomenal Christmas performance at the Lawrence Welk Theatre in Escondido. As if that weren't enough, Jim and I went to one of our favorite restaurants, Anthony's. While the food there is the best Italian I've ever eaten, one of the best parts of the experience is Brad. Brad is the manager of the restaurant or "ristorante" and created the definition for customer service excellence. He's genuine, honest and rates as one of the top three best servers we've ever had in our lives. His leadership example is one that should be modeled by anyone in retail throughout the country.
Even if you're not trying to avoid the holiday hustle, get out and see Brad at Anthony's. He's definately an upside thinker!
www.anthonysristorante.net
December 23, 2006
Upside Quote of the Day....
The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the
door to personal excellence."
Eddie Robinson (1919 - )
Hall of Fame college football coach
December 20, 2006
Gift Giving
Why do people buy gifts for others? Gifts are something that is given voluntarily, without any compensation expected. During the holiday season, most people spend both time and money attempting to select the "perfect" gift. I, too, am one of those people, turning into Santa's elf around the 15th of every December. But I still haven't answered the original question ~ why do people do it, why do they buy gifts for their family, friends and loved ones?
I believe that giving a gift to someone is more about the thought than what is given. Personally, I take my time when I am traveling to consciously and intentionally think about the people in my life. When I see something that seems "just perfect", it's like finding a hidden treasure. It excites me to give this gift to a special friend, hoping that they understand how much they mean to me and that they were on my mind and it doesn't have to be big or expensive just personal. After all, who doesn't like to feel special? (Which, by the way, is something that great leaders do very well......)
December 13, 2006
My Dog ~ Edison or Eddie, for short
I wrote about my dog, Edison, in my monthly newsletter. I picked him out at the animal shelter when I was 6 years old. When I received the call that Eddie had died, I was in college. Most people don't have the pleasure of enjoying their pets for over 15 years. Edison was wonderful because no matter what I experienced during the day he was always there for me. Whether I had a good or bad day at school and wanted to tell someone all about it, Edison would listen patiently until I finished the entire story. If I needed someone to play with, Eddie would be at my side without protest. And what I remember most of all is that when I came through that door after school each day, he showered me with unconditional love.
When I reflect upon these childhood experiences with Edison, I believe there are some leadership lessons that we can integrate into our personal and professional lives. In the workplace, if you’re serving (yes, serving) in role of executive, manager or supervisor, do you turn off the “taskmaster” long enough so your employees see you when you walk through the door each morning – full of greetings, smiles and cheer? Or do they dread seeing you each morning because they know that before they can settle into their chair and get their day planned you will be bearing over them with another work-related question or task?
This is a great time of the year to take inventory of our behavior and how we interact with family, friends and co-workers. Have you ever thought about what they think of your behavior or how you are perceived and what you could do better? I encourage you to ask them as they’re the ones you interact with most and they’re the best source of valuable feedback on how you can become a better person in your personal and professional life. A positive change in your life just might be the best present you could give someone this Christmas season.
(partial reprint from December 2006 newsletter)
December 11, 2006
The Eyes of Children
This is the time of year for endless Christmas parties. Jim and I travel from house to house for the festivities, leaving very little time in our already busy schedules for each other. Since taking on the responsibilities of being the diocesan coordinators for Catholic Engaged Encounter, our plate is full. However, as we look around at our friends and business associates, it is one of the things we have in common. Busy people know how to live life to the fullest.
Because of our newfound duties, Jim and I were responsible for helping to plan the annual Christmas party. As ususal, we recevied rsvp's from every couple and their children as well. On the day of the party, Santa came and brought gifts for each of the children which isn't something that had been done in previous years. The joy and gratitude on the face of each child made all of my trips to the store and running around worthwhile.
I invited Santa because I truly care about each of the children in this ministry. However, I believe there is a lesson I learned that could have only been found through the eyes of those children. If we live our lives each day with the intent of making a difference, the leadership possibilities would be endless...and everyone would be an upside thinker!
December 04, 2006
Upside Quote of the Day....
"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
3rd President of the United States and principal author of the Declaration of Independence
p.s. Continue to ride the upside and you'll have much luck today!
December 02, 2006
A Christmas Tree For Me!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How Lovely Are Thy Branches!
My family always invested in a live Christmas tree. My mom picked a date to take the annual drive to a local tree farm and select the perfect one. We scoured the field, looking at the color and the texture of the branches (and the price!). After we made our decision, my mother would have it cut down and tied it to the roof of our car as we sang Christmas carols on the drive home.
While my parents still put up a live tree every year, I've never had a live tree of my own. Sure, I've put up a fake fir but never felt quite like Christmas, nor did it have that Christmas smell. This year I asked Jim if we could have a live tree. He wasn't crazy about the idea and so I let it go. This afternoon, however, he went out to run an errand and came home with a 7 foot Christmas tree! It is one of the most beautiful trees I have ever seen and it looks perfect in our house.
Whether you're at work or at home, doing something "nice" for someone -- being thoughtful and kind, should be part of who you are. Setting an example or modeling excellence gives others an opportunity to see the possibilities or options even in crummy situations. This Christmas season choose to be an example of all that is good in the world. Choose to live on the upside.
p.s. What is your amazing Christmas tree memory?
December 01, 2006
When Work Isn't Work
There are times when I'm working and it just doesn't feell like work. Everything comes together -- my thoughts, my creativity, my plans -- and I am in awe. Today was one of those days. Ursula and I spent hours working on our upcoming book at Panera Bread while sipping on tea and eating sweets. Anyone watching us would have been inspired. (I wanted to take notes on us!) We were firing off ideas and wordsmithing as if there were a prize at the end of the day. And, there was a prize. The prize was satisfaction for a job well done -- That's how you know you're fulfilling your life's purpose. While work may be challenging, it should never be dreadful. Have you discovered your life's purpose? If so, what do you enjoy most about your work?
November 21, 2006
Monopoly Madness
As I sit in Latte Da doing my work, I'm distracted by a Brazilian exchange student and his sponsor playing Monopoly. Because I am a chronic multi-tasker, I find focusing on one idea to be a challenge. However, my attention span is divided because this particular interation is about much more than a board game -- it is a battle of wits, where ethics, training, negotiation, sales and, of course, leadership come into play.
As I listen, I think about how much of what we do every minute of every day creates the neuro-network that forms how we live our lives. The choices that we make in simple games like Monopoly serve as training for the BIG decisions. How we speak, how happy we are for the others' successes, how honest we are, how willing we are to make concessions and the example we set for others creates opportunities in business and life.
Each of us lives by our own set of rules and standards. What are your definitions of success? What are you hoping to achieve? Whatever they answer, upside thinking and Monopoly can help get you there!
November 20, 2006
Being a Pet Borrower
There are two things that keep me from having pets -- 1) beautiful hardwood floors and 2) my husband.
There's something wonderful about walking on hardwood floors and before I moved into our house, I asked my husband if we could take out the 7 different types of flooring, from tile to berber carpet, and have hardwood put in. He said "yes" and chose an unfinished Brazilian cherry to match our cabinets. I was in heaven and truly love walking into our home.
I'm just kidding with my second reason of why I don't have pets. Since I spend a considerable amount of time on the road, my husband reminds me that pets need to be cared for 24 x 7 -- not just when I'm in town -- and so I give him the credit for making me realize why this would be a challenge. He, however, has found a place for me to get my pet fix. It's a bed and breakfast in the northwoods of Ashland, Wisconsin, where he grew up. The owners of the Inn at Timber Cove have two beautiful daughters and two wonderful dogs. On our visits, I take the dogs for a walk in the morning and play with them in the afternoon. While it is 6 months in between visits, they remember me when I return and I feel as if they're "my" pets.
Everytime we pull up to the Inn at Timber Cove, I think about why having pets is important. What do dogs "bring to the table" that so many people want them? I believe one of the pieces of research I cite in my leadership classes holds the key. Most people don't get enough recognition or praise in their daily life and dogs love you no matter what. They're comforting and look forward to seeing you that you can't help but smile. Being appreciated or valued is what all humans need and so often what too few get at work and sometimes at home.
If organizations aren't going to recognize their employees, maybe they should think about investing in a few dogs to walk over lunch. I certainly would be inclined to work there!
www.innattimbercove.com
November 15, 2006
Strategic Business Friendship?
It started off as a chance meeting, became a strategic business partnership and is now a friendship.
Tomorrow, Ursula C. Mentjes will unveil her first book, entitled $elling with intention. This isn't "just another sales book" as the many nay-sayers are inclined to proclaim. This is a sales book written by a dynamic woman (which, by the way, there are very few women in the field of sales) who truly cares about helping others grow personally and professionally. Buying the book is one of the best decisions you will ever make.
One of the greatest lessons in leadership is being able to be happy for the success of the people around you. Cheers to you, Ms. Ursula for helping others do the things they think they cannot do!!!
November 12, 2006
The Toads & the Mission Inn Run
I used to be a runner. In high school, I ran cross country (poorly) and, over time, got to be pretty good. I loved the physical aspect of running as much as I loved the feeling after I was finished. Unfortunately, my right knee didn't enjoy running as much as the rest of me did and so I closed that chapter in my life.
Jim runs faithfully every morning at approximately 4 a.m. Running is as much a part of his life as breathing. In the early 90's when he was living in Coronado, he ran with the Bonita Roadrunners. Fifteen years later, he still maintains his friendship with this wonderful group of guys and, today, several of the original runners drove up to Riverside at 5 a.m. to run in the MIssion Inn Run with him. Between the ages of 38 - 60 years old, they came in first place in the open team division last year. (Unfortunately, they were beat by a group of 20 somethings this year.)
While I find them all charming, witty and likeable, what I enjoy most is watching them together. They willingly support each other at home and work and I find the synergy they've created to be not only remarkable but magical.
In order to build a high-functioning team in private industry or the public sector, you must operate from the perspective that one person's triumph is everyone's triumph and one person's disappointment is everyone's disappointment. Dave, Berek, Brian, Jimmy P., Kenny and Mike live this model and I am grateful that I get the chance to hang out with this great group of guys. Go Toads!