Tired of the negative news? Downside got you upside down?

Well, I for one am tired of hearing the word "economy" partnered up with the word "down" and in the vocabulary of almost everyone I meet. Leadership is about influence and the only thing that negative news can do is lead you down the path to more negative where you increase your self-doubt and start sabotaging all that is good around you.

And, with all of the negativity these days, it's bound to cause stress. Speaking from past experience, there's no upside to stress.

Without belaboring the subject because you already know what it does to you and your health, I'd like to share 9 ways to destress on your way to amazing success.

Imagine shooting a laser beam straight at the targeted area and launching!

1. Get Out! Exercise dampens stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, stimulating "feel-good" neurotransmitters called endorphins. Over time, it can produce a natural high in which your body is at peace and your internal dialogue is quiet. Sweet!

2. Head to the Spa! Besides the benefits of taking time to relax, recharge and renew yourself, massage relaxes stress-contracted muscles, increasing blood flow to the heart, helping it to beat more slowly. Not that you needed an excuse to pamper yourself!

3. Go Ohm! Sign up for a yoga class to understand the reason why people in India have done it since 5,000 BC. Yoga uses postures, breath control and meditation to bring together the energy of body, mind, and spirit. The controlled breathing and meditation reduce stress. And, that's a fact!

4. Laugh It Up! A hearty chuckle aids your digestion, stimulates your circulation, increases your "feel-good" endorphins, and awakens your immune system. No joke!

5. Turn Up the Tunes! Research shows that music changes us. Rocking out with a stronger beat stimulates the brain and promotes alertness. Slip into slower melodies to create a calmer, meditative state in the body. Try Dr. Emoto's CD if you want your whole body to be warm and fuzzy. Mmm!

6. Practice Presence! Meditation used to just be for the new-age movement but now it's gone mainstream. Why? Because meditation fights stress by giving us the benefits of being fully engaged in the present moment which means no worries about the future or the past. While there are techniques to help you slow down, like deep breathing or repeating a mantra, nothing beats lighting a candle, putting on some quiet music and clearing your mind. So, slow down!

7. Find a Friend! Stress + Connection = Stressed Out Connection? No silly! Stress + Connection = Support. Friendship keeps you from feeling isolated and alone. Sharing your feelings with someone helps to move forward. We're not talking about dumping but if you lend a shoulder and bend an ear, all of your stress will disappear!

8. Jump into Action! Distract your psyche with a whole host of activities. Scrapbook. Dance. Stamp it up. Play tennis. Swim. Bust out the Sudoko puzzle. Go fishing. Go bowling. Ride a motorcycle. Knit. Learn Spanish. Do ceramics. Draw. Plant a garden. Golf. Now, get going!

9. Ride the Upside! Self-talk is the endless stream of thoughts that runs through your head each and every day. Pay attention to what yours say. It's easy to slip into negative self-talk, making assumptions and finding fault in what you're doing or not doing. Recognize when you start to spiral downward and replace those thought with more upside ones.

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Before the video era existed, my sister and I would spend countless hours playing board games. I loved them all - Monopoly, Battleship, Connect 4 and the list goes on and on. The one that sticks out as being incredibly relevant to life is Chutes and Ladders. It was a game where players try to land on ladders so they can move steps ahead while avoiding chutes which send you back a number of squares.

It was an exciting game of Ups and Downs. As you spin the spinner and move your pawn the number of spaces shown, if you land on a good deed, you move up. But, if you land on a naughty deed, down the chute you go.

As we climb the success ladder in life, it's inevitable that we'll stumble on a loose rung now and then. And, sometimes we're even the cause of the loose rung because of our naughty deeds on our rise to fame and fortune. Our upside attitude will determine whether we lose our footing or find our center and remain balanced despite the outcome. Additionally, these daily challenges strengthen our character so that it is through adversity that we may recognize the power within us to succeed.

Upside Thinking is about unlimited possibilities in and around us. It isn't about challenges not happening or avoiding them either. Regardless of what happens to us or around us, we are where we choose to be. Always choosing to live upside guarantees that good things will continue to happen in our lives. Looking on the bright side of life and expecting incredible, wonderful happenings in our life condition us to seek out more of that. Remember, thoughts become things.

Is your pattern of thinking "upside"? When we make the decision to choose upsde over and over again, it becomes a habit. The process of designing our destiny has begun, whether we know it or not.

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A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. - Anonymous

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When I ventured out into the world of entrepreneurialism, I knew little about the technicalities of business. However, I knew three things: 1) I like people (and most people like me because I am honest and integrous), 2) I knew that no matter how good I was or my product was, unless I sold something, I wouldn't stay in business, and 3) I knew leadership.

Interestingly, my career path was vastly different — banking and law enforcement— than most of my peers.

Liking people and getting them to trust you is step one in getting business. And, all professions depend largely upon sales, because we're all selling something, whether it's our great idea, or a methodology, a product or a service. Everyone is looking for best practices.

Just because someone knows and likes you doesn't mean they're sold on your great idea, product, or service. There is a bit more to it than that. And, most sales people will tell you that you have to be tough enough to go through lots of "no's" before getting to the "yes's".

The piece that I believe ties it all together neatly is leadership. Leadership. Ah, yes...leadership is a word with some fuzziness around it. But simply put, leadership is about influence and influencing people to make decisions to say "yes" to your great idea no just because they like you but because it is a great idea.

So, why is this important to an entrepreneur?

When most entrepreneurs start a bursiness, they only want to do what brings them money right now. The actions that will bring them long-term success seem like a waste of time. So they print business cards, tell all of their friends, join a networking group or two, maybe advertise a little, and off they go. No business plan, no developmental plan, and no idea where they're going. If perchance that actually works, when they're interested in growing the business, they fall short and don't know what to do.

Increasing your likeability factor, your product knowledge and ability to make a sale, and your leadership ability, you'll be in the know and on the grow.

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Do you work to live or live to work?

Work as defined by the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary is "an activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something" and " the labor, task, or duty that is one's accustomed means of livelihood". While these statements are both accurate, they fail to describe the emotional aspects of working.

Working to live denotes a need to eat, survive, and pay one's bills. To many professionals, however, work is more than just a means to an end, it is about fulfillment.

Working to get a paycheck or insurance benefits is usually only temporary before burnout and "drone-syndrome" have an effect on both the body and the mind. Your world starts to shrink as outside interests wane. And, everything slowly becomes uninspiring.

The average American spends more than half of their waking hours engaged in some form of work making it more than just an ideal to like your job and get a sense of satifsfaction each and every work day. Choosing work that gives purpose and meaning to ordinary activities is one of the wisest things one can do.

Leading your life in a manner where you are moving forward boldly is quite different from people whose identity is wrapped up in their job that they can't function without it.

Since "You are where you choose to be", how can you assess whether happiness, success, and meaning are all in a day's work?

1. If you won the lottery would you still continue to do what you do for a living?
2. After doing what you do for more than 5 hours, are you energized or looking for a life raft?
3. Would you still do what you do even if there wasn't a guaranteed paycheck accompanying your hard work?

You should easily and effortlessly answer "yes" to all three questions if you are living to work.

Remember, living to work doesn't equal all-consuming or no relationships. As Khalil Gibran so eloquently stated, "Work is love made visible."

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I hosted a Leadership Success Summit in January and the theme was "Standing Strong in Changing Times because times are changing. Open the paper or turn on the TV and you can't escape all of the messages of doom and gloom.

In order to thrive, we all need to think differently. However, this isn't anything new. The necessity for change has always prevented complacency and stagnation. When you're stuck in your comfort zone, you don't know you're there. Sadly, some people don't make the discovery that they're in a rut until the challenge of digging out becomes exceedingly painful.

If change is uncomfortable, what steps can one take to make changing a bit easier?

Well, there's no surprise that I believe it all starts with your upside attitude....whether you're able to see the unlimited possibilities in and around you at all times. Our thoughts become things. Possessing an upside attitude is important because you are what you think.

Our attitudes control how we feel about others and ourselves. We can actually change our personality and responses by altering our attitude. The words will slowly start to ooze out of our mouth with unabashed enthusiasm and joy. When you speak happy, you feel happy. When you speak with confidence, you are confident.

We color the world with our presence. Our words then become who we are - our character. And, our character becomes our destiny. I wrote Designing Your Destiny: Achieving Personal and Professional Success through Upside Thinking because the change that begins inside will expand to our physical being.

We are all made of energy and we touch people around us, for better or worse. The last question in the book asks, What difference do you want to make in the world?

If you consciously find the unlimited possibilites that lie around and within you, it will make all the difference to your future and and both you and the people around you will be the better for it.

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I dwell in possibility.
- Emily Dickinson

(The Upside Thinkers Motto)

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The theme song of my senior high school prom was David Bowie's 1971 Hunky Dory album called Changing. Not an easy song to dance to but great lyrics......

Still don't know what I was waiting for, And my time was running wild.
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought Id got it made, It seemed the taste was not so sweet.
So, I turned myself to face me, But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker, I'm much too fast to take that test.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes -(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes - Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes - (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes - Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me, But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples change their size, But never leave the stream Of warm impermanence.
So, the days float through my eyes, But still the days seem the same.
And these children that you spit on As they try to change their worlds,
Are immune to your consultations, They're quite aware of what theyre going through.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes - (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes - Don' tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes - (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes - Where' your shame,You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me, But you can' trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah,changes are taking the place I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes - (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes - Oh, look out you rock n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes - (Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes - Pretty soon now youre gonna get a little older
Time may change me, But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me, But I can't trace time

Life is every changing. Leading our lives and designing our destiny requires stretching and growing beyond where we are today. Who you are right now got you where you are. However, to get to where you want to be, we must all change.

And, yet, the responsibilities of everyday life along with our own negative mental chatter can make moving forward incredibly challenging. All of us, from the aspiring entrepreneur to the most seasoned professional, have mental mind-blocks that keep us from getting out of our comfort-zone no matter how good that we tell ourselves "here" is. Because if you're ever changing, there's always more.

The number one challenge is always having a big enough vision to aspire and grow into which means we much be in a constant state of change. And, yet, I know you have heard that same voice of doubt, fear and disbelief as I have. Fortunatley, it comes from our past programming and perceptions.

The truth is that each one of us is incredibly talented, wonderful, and gifted. However, we can only use these gifts to their fullest if we continue to embrace change.

So, how do we embrace change and move past the negative mental chatter?

Pay attention to Your Mindset, Your Enviornment, and Your Connections.

Your Mindset - Change the station to I.ROCK -Upside Radio! Listen to the sweet hum of all that is going well in your life. If you focus your energy on the doubts, fears, and disbeliefs, it's easy to get stuck. Only by changing what we are feeling can we change what we are doing and being. What are you thinking? Where is your mind focused on? Is it where it should be?

Your Environment - Sometimes the energy around our workspace needs a bit of a shift. Try organizing or rearranging your office. You can add something like flowers or photos that make your environment more joyful or you can get out of the office and work somewhere completely different for the afternoon.

Your Connections - Reach out and touch someone who knows how magnificent you really are. And, make sure you are continually connecting with individuals who are capable and willing to be your upside impact partners. Surround yourself who understand the importance of change and continually challenge you to be more than you ever imagined.

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Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin

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Motivation is one of the most talked about subjects in business and one of the most elusive. Why? Because whether you're an entrepreneur or corporate executive, staying motivated can be a challenge.

I know for myself there are days when I'm on fire and amazingly productive that people should be following me around taking notes. Other days, I barely make it through a few emails and feel like calling it a day.

The question always comes back to what is the reason why you do what you do? When you focus your energy on your BIG why, it's easy to be motivated and do what needs to be done. In fact, if you direct your attention to your why and don't move forward with your projects, you feel as if you're cheating others out of being part of your greatness.

So, the question today is - What is your great BIG why in business and in life? Why do you do what you do? Why are you who you are? Please feel free to email me your answers. I enjoy being part of your circle of success!

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Over 15 years ago, when I was still working in Federal law enforcement, I attended a leadership development class. The instructor shared that over 90% of all Americans have little or no direction for their lives....no real long-term plan. From that day forward, I was determined to be different and wrote my mission statement for life. And, I still carry it with me every where I go.

• To laugh, love, live, and be happy…
• To create magic in my life and the lives of those around me...
• To never judge others, for life is hard…
• To achieve balance ~ physically, mentally, and spiritually…
• To welcome open and honest communication…
• To have a smile on my face and joy in my heart…
• To live simply, possessing integrity and courage…
• To find the best in others…
• To understand that the Universe is unfolding just the way it should be…

I’m not qualified to write about the specialty skills each of you possess in your line of work, but I am qualified to write about leadership.

Everything rises and falls on leadership. I wrote my mission statement so I would be clear about what I wanted from life.

You are the only one with your life. You may meet other people along your journey with your degree; however, there is only one person who can see what you see, feel what you feel, and do what you can do the way you do it. No one else has your very special life.

As the President and C.hief E.nthusiasm O.fficer of Upside Thinking, Inc., I’m often heard saying that no one wakes up and says, “Gee, I hope I’ll be a failure today.” Everyone wants to be extraordinary.

My advice to you is to write down what you want…everything! (I’ll tell you a little secret…that’s how I found my wonderful husband!)

Set your priorities, choosing to put your health and family before your work.

In a world where people are dollar rich and time poor, it’s rare to truly listen. Be different. Honor others by being still and listening to them…not only with your ears, but with your heart.

Be generous with your time, your money, and your talents. Give, give, and give some more. I can guarantee that it will come back to you in ways you never imagined.

Recognize abundance wherever you go, living with an attitude of gratitude. Enjoy the journey. Be grateful for every challenge and every opportunity that comes your way. Give thanks for every moment and be present in order to truly see the miracles around you. Appreciate your family, friends, and colleagues for who they are, not what you want them to be.

Be committed to excellence. It's not enough to believe you want an extraordinary life, you must be committed to it.

May you be a leader of leaders who experiences more success than you've ever imagined!

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One of the great things about being an entrepreneur is the ability to create your own schedule. It is one of the reasons why I decided on self-employment after leaving the Federal goverment.

Last week, I was at a speaking engagement in San Diego and I broke my toes. You would think that wouldn't be too big of a deal but wow did it change what I could and couldn't do during an average day. And, it was the first time I had broken a bone in my llifetime.

Since I had speaking commitments, I waited about 10 hours to go to the emergency room. Oh, I knew something was wrong. Not only did they hurt but they were turning funny colors during the day!

After going for x-rays and to see the podiatrist, I needed to change quite a few appointments during the week which was a bit frustrating. Although I have considerable freedom and flexibility, I like to work. But, the only way to heal was to rest.

Sometimes because we enjoy what we do we keep going and going.

Today I'm sending you a reminder to slow down and enjoy the scenery. Do something good for yourself today. And, ride the Upside!

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Believe it or not, one of the easiest ways to overcome any challenge is to ask for help. Unfortunately, most people just don't do it.

I know for myself there are three things that get in the way: 1) slowing down to ask; 2) knowing who to ask or what to ask for; and/or 3) being paralyzed that askee will say "no" or worse. So, these are my 3 rules for asking for help.

1) Ninety percent of the time, people don’t get help because they fail to ask. Be one of the remaining 10%.

2) If you don't know who to ask or what to ask for, stop and ask the universe, expecting that help is on the way. (Because it is!)

3) Most people want to help and they're just waiting for their big chance to make a difference.

So, ask away!

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So much of Upside Thinking is about the words you choose and how they affect your level of success both personally and professionally. Today, I opened up my inbox to an email that made me laugh.....and reminded me of the power of our words as they relate to our ability to act. Enjoy!

Once upon a time there were a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as, "Oh, WAY too difficult!!" "They will NEVER make it to the top."
and, "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

Over time, the tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one....except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher.

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

At the end, everyone else had given up climbing the tower except for one tiny frog who was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out that the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people's tendencies to be downside or negative bcause they take your most wonderful
dreams and ability to design your own destiny.

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"Those who succeed are not always the best or the smartest. The triumphant are those who don’t give up."
– Cynthia Good, Editor & CEO, Pink Magazine

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In today’s changing times and with the increased stress in both business and personal environments, networking and personal relationships are even more critical to success.

And, with tens of thousands of networking events going on throughout the country every week, what is networking really about?

1. It’s not about numbers. A few quality connections trump a large quantity of connections every time.
2. It's not about the pitch. There is nothing more important than honesty in building credibility and forming lasting relationships.
3. It's not about what you get. It's about what you give. Focus on how you can be of value to the people you meet, always giving something first.
4. It's not about the words you use. It's about your follow-up and follow through with those words. Action, action, we want action! Keep in touch – go the extra mile even though you might be swamped with business and personal challenges.
5. It's not about you. Interested people are interesting. It's always all about them. Period.

Remember, leadership is about influence. If you understand what networking is about, you can increase your sphere of influence so that it reaches far and wide and you attract the people you want, reducing your stress and increasing your success.

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No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
- Aesop

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"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously."

Paul the Apostle, 2 Corinthians 9:6

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On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
- Aldous Huxley

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Happy Inauguration!

So much can stand in the way of becoming the person we know we can become. Sometimes we undermine our own success with our attitude, thereby preventing all that we can dream from entering our life. By focusing on the end result through the process of "upside thinking" which involves daily affirmations and a the ability to focus on the unlimited possibilities in a positive manner, we can truly design our destiny.

Sure, there may be distractions along the way, trying to get us off track, but the combination of clarity, focus, and action make us unstoppable. We not only will determine our direction, but our outcome in life. Why not dream the impossible dream, and stay the course? If not now, when? All we have is this day forward. Shouldn’t we begin right now by making this day count for our life’s purpose? You can achieve it if you believe it. Believe in yourself and the difference in your life will be all that you can imagine it will be.

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"The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself."

- Benjamin Franklin

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Your assignment for today is get out with the old and in with the new.

When life is over complicated, disorganization creeps in draining your energy and taking you off course. It's difficult to lead anyone if you aren't leading yourself first. So, look at your physical surroundings and ask yourself, do they bring about a feeling of peace? Are things in their place, orderly and neat or is there chaos in the room? Remember, the more order on the outside, the more order on the inside.

Today is January 6th - 6 days into the new year! Choose to clear the way for the new things to come in by purging the old. Get rid of anything and everything that is unnecessary, outdated, or useless, because it’s blocking the path of unlimited possibilities in the new year.

To YOUR amazing success!

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Receiving testimonials are wonderful, aren't they, Lisa? Someone takes the time to praise you in writing so others will know how great it is to work with you. I love getting testimonials! Not only is it a great stroke to my ego, I shamelessly admit, but it is also a validation that I continue to add value to my clients and positively impacting their lives.

However, the same is not true when we receive a complaint, right? Hopefully this is something that occurs very rarely! How do you respond? How do you handle criticism?

A woman approached me after I spoke at a women's breakfast recently and asked me how she should respond to a negative letter she had received.
After a brief discussion, it was clear the person writing the letter was not going to be pleased from the start. First, she complained about the fees--after the services began. She continuously grumbled at every turn.
And then, she refused to pay part of the bill for added services.

Has something similar ever happen to you? How would you respond?

I shared with her the fact that you cannot have really, really good without having really, really bad. It is what is referred to as The Law of Polarity. Everything has its opposite. Up has down, in has out, big has small, etc. So, you cannot have someone saying great things about you without someone saying something bad. It is part of growing and evolving.

Miguel don Ruiz mentioned is his book, "The Four Agreements," people do not say or do things TO you, they say or do things FOR them. That means that when someone praises or criticizes you, don't take it personally. It is not
about you, it is about them--what they feel or think.

The only thing you are responsible for is to always do your best with what you have and do what you are meant to do. How others react to what you give is not in your control. So, as you continue to go about your business and serving with your gifts and talents, know that receiving criticism is part of the course.

Stay focused on the value you provide, do the best you can and pay more attention to the praises than the criticism. It is not about you, so don't take it personally!

Entrepreneur, Coach, National Speaker and Author, Jo Della Penna publishes The Business of You E-Zine with over 1,500+ subscribers. If you're ready to jump-start your business, make more money, and have more joy and excitement in your life, get your FREE tips now at www.TheBusinessofYou.com.

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"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for opportunity when it comes."

- Benjamin Disraeli

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Using your intuition is the abiitiy to listen to that part of you that operates at a higher consciousness. It means you need to pay attendtion so you can tune in to your own channel. Unfortunately, if your life is filled with crazy makers, you become distracted by disorganization, chaos, and unfinished business.

And, here you are on December 31st looking back at the past year. Did you do everything you wanted? Is your life exactly where you'd like? If there are a few things that got off track, make the decision right here and right now to get organized, and calm things down so that 2009 will be your best year yet. Choose to be more efficient and more effective....for yourself and the rest of the world.

Happy New Year!

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"To have courage for whatever comes in life – everything lies in that."
- Mother Teresa

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No action takes place unless it is preceded by thought. If you’re unhappy with the circumstances in which you find yourself, you can improve your situation through the power of thought, just as surely as you can destroy a positive life with negative thinking. Success begins with an honest analysis of your present condition, acceptance of responsibility for your own life, and the development of a workable plan to achieve what you desire.

-Napoleon Hill

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A friend sent me a great story about seeing opportunities that are right in front of our eyes. Since so much of what I write about on leadership and influence has to do with possibility thinking, and because I’m from Pennsylvania, and am passionate about my ministry little girl in Africa, I thought that sharing Earl Nightingale’s story would be perfect for today’s blog. Enjoy!

Acres of Diamonds by Earl Nightingale

One day, a young man went to Russell Herman Conwell, a lawyer and later clergyman, and told him he wanted a college education but couldn’t swing it financially. Dr. Conwell decided, at that moment, what his aim in life was, besides being a man of cloth – that is. He decided to build a university for unfortunate, but deserving, students. He did have a challenge, however. He would need a few million dollars to build the university. For Dr. Conwell, and anyone with real purpose in life, nothing could stand in the way of his goal.

Several years before this incident, Dr. Conwell was tremendously intrigued by a true story – with its ageless moral. The story was about a farmer who lived in Africa and, through a visitor, became extremely excited about looking for diamonds. Diamonds were already discovered in abundance on the African continent and this farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of diamonds that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line. He wandered all over the continent, as the years slipped by, constantly searching for diamonds and wealth, which he never found. Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and drowned.

Meanwhile, the new owner of his farm picked up an unusual rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity. A visitor stopped by and in viewing the rock practically went into terminal convulsions. He told the new owner of the farm that the funny looking rock on his mantle was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found. The new owner of the farm said, “Heck, the whole farm is covered with them!” – and sure enough it was.

The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine…the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on “Acres of Diamonds” until he sold his farm.

Dr. Conwell learned from the story of the farmer and continued to teach its moral. Each of us is right in the middle of our own “Acre of Diamonds”, if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures. Dr. Conwell told this story many times and attracted enormous audiences. He told the story long enough to raise the money to start the college for underprivileged deserving students. In fact, he raised nearly six million dollars and the university he founded, Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, has at least ten degree-granting colleges and six other schools.

When Dr. Russell H. Conwell talked about each of us being right on our own “Acre of Diamonds”, he meant it. This story does not get old…it will be true forever.

Opportunity does not just come along. It is there all the time. We just have to see it.

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I have a paperweight on my desk that says, “A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step.” While many of us know this to be true, we still get stuck and find ourselves in a rut. I am no different. I find that the best thing about my life is the ability to change and yet the most difficult thing to do is change.

Because I’ve been in transition for the past few months, my morning routine has been missing. It seems like I start each day just a little differently. Mid-way through the morning, I feel “off”…something just isn’t right. Now that I’m out of the hotel, finished with all of my travel for the year, and settling into my new home, I need to make the commitment to re-create my ideal schedule and stick to it.

The journey begins with the first step. What step will you take today to change something that isn’t working for you?

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If you don't believe in yourself, don't ask anyone else to do so."
- Napoleon Hill

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In January 2008, I bought a pedometer and made a commitment to health. After a few months, I fell off the wagon. It's not that I haven't done this before. Maybe you've experienced a similar cycle with some aspect of your life - start, stop, start, stop, this time will be different. All I know is that within a few days, weeks, or months, my enthusiasm wanes and other "priorities" take over.

For the hundredth time, I take out all of my magazine articles and books on exercise, hoping to find a miracle cure to my energy woes.

The books don't tell me anything I didn't already know, but they reminded me to go back to basics: "Start slow", "Eat well", "Drink plenty of water".

In the midst of my time of renewal, I picked up the phone and called one of my closest friends and fellow walker Becky.

Becky shared her insights, talked about what she was doing, and then related it back to me and my situation. Five minutes of talking to her gave me more hope and information than two hours of paging through pages of "get thin quick" articles.

Our conversation helped me to move forward, and our connection made that possible. I was now willing to get back to the gym and renew my health commitment! And I haven't missed more than a few days since living in Florida. Imagine that.

After 60 days, I feel GREAT. I have my energy back, my stamina returned, and my body looks pretty darn good. My cravings for junk food have decreased, although I'll never give up my trips to Weinerschnitzel when I'm back in CA.

So, what makes this story so magnificent? (Yes, there is there a wonderful lesson behind my courage to fail.)

You know your business inside and out.
You work hard. And you know how to make money.

You probably have article clippings from magazines, books, CDs, and DVDs in your office - incredible resources in your filing cabinet or sitting there on your shelf - just like I have all these great books on exercise in my office.

And yet I still fall off the wagon and forget what to do and find myself needing encouragement and guidance from real humans.

Information becomes much more powerful when it is customized to your circumstances. When you bring in the Power of Connection, everything accelerates.

That is why coaching and mentoring out-power do-it-yourself materials every time. Information is great, but motivation, support, and the human connection turn that information into incredible results.

Starting January 2009, twenty lucky entrepreneurs are going to make 2009 their MOST SUCCESSFUL YEAR ever with my program Circle of Success program.

What does that mean for them?

* More health.* More happiness.* More clients.* More money.
* Greater meaning.* More success than every before.

The Circle of Success is like that phone call from my friend: personalized structure, customized remedies, and the human touch to make information come alive.

Sign up by December 31st and receive a $50 coupon for any of Lisa's upcoming seminars or 1 hour of one-on-one coaching with Lisa Marie absolutely free!

Circle of Success includes:
Twelve 1 1/2 hour meetings or tele-conferences
Networking with like-minded professionals
Priceless Strategies, Ideas, and Concepts
Personal Consultation with Lisa Marie
Assignments to work on
Dinner (when we meet in person)

Because this is for professionals who are serious about their success, a one year commitment is required. The first meeting is on January 27, 2008 at 6:30 p.m.

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Failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.

Mary Pickford (1892–1979)

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Wealthy Bag Lady founder, Linda Hollander, recently sent out an email that contained the best advice she ever got. Since Linda gave me some of the best advice I've ever gotten, I felt it was important to share her email with you. Check out her site at www.WealthyBagLady.com to find out more about her Small Business Expo.

Best Advice I Ever Got -

1. Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' According to Mary Kay Ash, People work for emotional rewards as well as financial rewards. Every day is a chance to make someone feel appreciated.

2. People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. According to Zig Ziglar, that's why you need to feed your brain constantly with great inspiration.

3. Don't ask someone to sign a contract. According to Elinor Stutz, author of Nice Girls Do Get the Sale, When you say "sign" people think they're signing their lives away. Instead, ask them to "authorize the agreement". If you want to have fun, ask them to autograph it.

4. Me-too businesses will never be great businesses. According to Susan Wilson Solovic, CEO of SBTV.com, you need to tell people how your business is different from other businesses, especially your competitors.

5. If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. According to Jim Rohn, Most people are living by rules they didn't create. Plan your success journey, value people more than money and give from the heart.

What's the best advice you ever got? Email me and let me know.

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Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better. - Unknown

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One of the foundational principles of being an upside thinker is to put your health first, family second, and work third. As we approach the holidays and everyone’s schedule seems that much tighter, I’d like to remind you of the importance of self.

Taking care of your self is about properly meeting your basic needs. Are you taking care of your body inside and out? Are you getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, eating well (which includes taking the time to feed your body, not force-feed yourself in marathon pace and preparing your food with care), and are you getting adequate exercise? And, more importantly, are you doing all of this without taking a guilt trip?

Being an upside thinker means caring for your self because YOU are your most cherished possession.

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I recently read a Dear Abby column that shared a story about a man whose wife had died. You could feel his pain as you read the letter and felt his sense of loss. He wrote to the columnist not because he wanted to share his story, but more as a forewarning to others to treat each day as precious.

While I don’t spend any time on regrets in life, I’m sure I could create a list of all of the opportunities that I waited too long to respond to or too many doors that closed due to my inaction.

The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called Today. And, today only stops by for a limited time. When she’s gone, she never comes back for a visit.

Since my company is Upside Thinking, I try to live every moment on the upside and stay away from negativity. I liken it to having created a force-field like a superhero where when I feel it from yards away, I begin running in the opposite direction. However, I do believe that it is important for each one of us to pause long enough to remind ourselves that we get only so long to live our lives. There are only so many moments from the day of our birth to the day that we stop breathing.

Time stops for no one and is the great equalizer of mankind – young, old, rich, poor, we all get the same 24 hours a day to create our own greatness, making it imperative that we cherish each moment. She doesn’t care about our dreams or big vision, our projects or gonna-do lists. And, she doesn’t stop for our great excuses or creative reasons why. She just keeps on ticking.

There are countless opportunities that present themselves to us each and every day. We all have them. My challenge to you is for you to take an inventory and at the end of each day, stop and ask yourself, “What did I do with the last sixteen, eighteen, or twenty hours? Did I seize every opportunity that was presented to me? How can I be more present tomorrow?”

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There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love;
there's only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.
- Wayne Dyer

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In my last blog, I talked about the importance of thinking big. But that’s only one part of the process. The second part is to feel it.

You have to close the deal with yourself by daring to change your thinking and allowing yourself to feel the accomplishment before you have it completed.

When I work with my coaching clients and we discuss their financial goals, I ask them to visualize their number and then multiply it by two. Then, I have them sit with that for a while and tell me what they’re feeling. Excitement? Discomfort? Are they planning all they could do with their money, or are they physically sick to their stomach?

After ten minutes, I have them go back to their original financial goal - number they gave me in the beginning of the exercise - and tell me how it looks now. My clients always tell me small, achievable, and not big enough!

We then re-visit the bigger number and I ask them to visualize what it would feel like to achieve this. As they tell me all that would be possible, I ask what is holding them back. And the response is usually the same – their thinking.

To have a BIG life, thinking and feeling must team up and work together. And, to stay on track, you must write it down and review it often to ensure that you don’t stray on your journey.

And, while a BIG life may be met with a little discomfort along the way, in the long run, it beats being comfortable and missing out on the BIG life you were meant to live.

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As I set up my office in Miami, I envision all of the opportunities that will be coming my way. From the new clients, to the new events I am attending, I picture how all of the pieces will come together. Then I stop, pause, and wonder, Am I thinking BIG enough?

Six months ago, I attended a seminar where the speaker said the #1 reason why businesses are unsuccessful is because the leader(s) lack vision and fail to think big enough. At that moment, I thought, “Yes, but I’m different. I know this. I preach vision and planning.”

However, if I’m honest with myself, the answer is I’m never thinking big enough. I’m not visualizing beyond what I think is really possible. And, you probably aren’t either.

Having a BIG life versus a comfortable life means looking at a set of circumstances and saying "Is that it? Is that all I can really do?" rather than "That’s it. That’s all that is possible with my current situation."

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The glory of human nature lies in our capacity to exercise conscious control of our own destiny.
– Winston Churchill

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When it comes to fostering leadership, the best resource you have is you. The behavior you model, the goals and expectations you set, and the feedback you deliver all set the tone in the office.

Last month, I delivered a presentation at the office of one of my regular clients. The topic was Communication Dynamics which is important to leadership or the art of influence. One of the components of the presentation was communicating with integrity. Or, as Aretha Franklin said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T...” And, a lot of what we discussed kept coming back to Aretha's message. Everyone wants to be valued, appreciated, and respected.

Here are a few of the basics in our discussion.

• Treat others with courtesy. Greet people with a smile when you see them for the first time each day.

(Often accused of being Mary "F---in" Sunshine when I worked for the Federal govvernment but I figured that was better than being known as Missy Grumpy Pants.)

• Actively listen. When a co-worker comes to you with a problem or a question, put your work aside and focus on them.
o Make eye contact to demonstrate that you are paying attention to what they’re saying.
o Do not glance at email, answer the phone, or allow other interruptions to distract you.
o If this isn’t a convenient time to talk, let them know and schedule a time to meet later.

(Ooh, a tough one. I used to be the glancer who only paid attention to half of what was being said. After a few misunderstandings on the job and in my personal life, I mastered the art of active listening through much practice.)

• Be timely. Showing up for meetings early demonstrates that you recognize that everyone’s time is valuable, not just your own.

(This also falls under - People don't care how much you know. They want to know how much you care. Valuing people's time is often as important as caring for their finances.)

• Refrain from gossip. Talking negatively about your boss, co-workers, or customers shows that you condone this kind of behavior.

(And, is guaranteed to generate morale problems. This is the mortal sin of them all. NEVER, ever gossip!)

If you model these behaviors, in and out of work, everyone will follow you. You’ll be the king or queen of influence!

Come on! Sing it with me, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me…”

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Consciously or not, we tip people off to what we think they are or think they can be. If we focus on what was and not on what could be, we create limits to the future. Because our words create our individual worlds, our own self-awareness is critical to helping others grow beyond themselves.

In the words of Jimmy Johnson, former professional football coach of my beloved Dallas Cowboys, “Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.”

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Use your power to influence today and get out and vote. By casting your ballot, you choose interest versus indifference.

As Lyndon B. Johnson said, "Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose."

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Your success in life will be in direct proportion to what you do after you do what you are expected to do.
- Brian Tracy

p.s. Happy Halloween!

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Inspiration. The feeling within the body of elevated energy and enthusiasm. To inspire.

My friend Beth Bridges has been inspired to reignite her blog, bethbridges.blogspot.com. She and I are like two peas in a pod on our views about connecting, and the art of influence. Just to give you a sampling of her work and to encourage you to check her out, here is a re-print of one of her posts, entitled "Develop Your Like-ability". Enjoy!

Develop Your Like-ability

As I wrote yesterday, you're going to have a very hard time enjoying networking if you "don't like people". Guess what. Other people aren't going to change. Instead, you must work on your like-ability. Not "likeability" as in how much other people like you, but your ability to like them.

It is possible - even with all those irritating people out there. Here's several keys to doing this.

Stop focusing on other people's faults. Oh, if you're perfect, you can ignore this.
Work on appreciating their positive qualities. No one is all bad.

Recast a slightly annoying trait into an endearing one. There's a limit to this, of course. You'll have a hard time convincing yourself that someone who constantly puts other people down or who tells you how to run your life is "cute".

Here's the most important way to increase your ability to like other people:

Find out what you have in common. Especially if it's an unusual interest or hobby.

There's nothing more enjoyable than finding out that someone has the same passions that you do. You can have a whole conversation on that one thing, even if you're from completely different ends of any spectrum. Lifelong friendships have developed over something as seemingly small as an interest in the same author, or a fondness for an obscure movie producer. And, there's nothing like finding someone else who is a fan of your beleagured team who hasn't won in years. Any Michael Waltrip fans out there? Can't wait 'til next year!

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If you don't like the way the world is, you change it.
You have an obligation to change it. You just do it one step at a time.
- Marian Wright Edelman

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Remember when you were 5 years old and you could spend hours imagining the possibilities in life? I know I wanted to be a shoemaker, lawyer, and lifetime student all in one year! I’d like for you to take a moment and examine your life right now at the present moment. Have you allowed yourself to become stagnant over time? Has your attitude changed, preventing you from experiencing anything new? Do you find yourself judging situations and saying "no" before you’ve heard the entire story?

My recent move to Miami has brought about significant change in my life. While I’ve always been a fan of change – the kind I can control (ha-ha) – this adventure has been both hilly and rocky. And yet, I am VERY aware that a person's ability to change is tantamount to his or her ability to grow and expand both personally and professionally. Inflexibility is the unwillingness to change. It’s not that you’re not able but that you just simply say “no” to the door that’s being presented to you.

Sometimes you’re presented opportunities to grow at the right moment, but you just don’t see it and don’t realize how ready you are for a change. When I knew that Jim was being transferred and we would be moving, I wasn’t happy. My upside attitude evaporated, and I was crazy-glued to the idea that my life should be exactly like it was.
Then, I started telling myself that this was part of an incredible plan in the Universe. I was on a journey and needed to explore another part of the country to help a broader group of people become upside thinkers.
By proclaiming a resounding “yes” to change, I allowed the unlimited possibilities to appear. And, they’ve been appearing each and every day. Old friends, acquaintances, business relationships, opportunities…it is truly amazing.

So, the next time you are presented with an opportunity to move out of your comfort zone, be it a move across the country or trying something new, say “YES!” with enthusiasm and excitement. Turn off the automatic timer that blocks out anything different and recognize that when you're green you grow, and when you're ripe you rot. It’s that simple.

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In my book Designing Your Destiny, I refer to Upside Impact Partners, or your UIPs that care as much about you and your business as you do. Your UIPs are your VIPs because they understand who you are and have joined in the cause of helping you get where you want to be.

In building authentic relationships, you’re hoping to create these UIPs along the way. Creating an incredible relationship actually paves the way for a partnership. Some people call them a board of directors of a board of advisors. UIPs or partnerships, whether you call them that or not, are critical to success in business and in life.

Think about all of the people with whom you are connected. At this moment, do you have 10 strategic business partnerships, advisors, or UIPs in your corner who are strong professionals? If so, then kudos to you! (What are you doing to strengthen those relationships?) And, if not, why don’t you start recruiting today?

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Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
- Unknown

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In almost every one of my presentations, workshops, and keynote addresses, I speak about the importance of being kind over being right. An attitude that ROCKs is focused on being kind to others first.

Last week, I was on the road again and had several opportunities to practice what I preach. One situation is especially worth sharing.

When I got off the plane, I realized I had forgotten something pretty important to my trip. I decided to take care of it immediately, even though I was feeling a bit jet-lagged. After about five minutes of shopping at this well-known, local retail establishment, I found what I was looking for and headed to the cashier to make my purchase. The item I wanted didn't have a price, and after several minutes, she told me she wouldn't be able to help me. I was tired and angry, and now I was posturing and had my game face on. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I wanted to tell her that the customer is always right.

But, I didn't. I took a deep breath instead and paused for a moment. I paused long enough to connect with my Spirit and chose to be kind, hoping that she would see my Spirit too. And then it happened. Right there in the middle of the store, her body changed and so did her energy. The muscles in her face softened and her voice dropped an octave or two. Somehow, someway our spirits connected.

Being kind is about seeing the other person soul-to-soul versus role-to-role. She was more than a minimum wage cashier there to serve me, and when my attitude changed and I treated her with kindness regardless of her behavior, the situation changed right in front of my eyes.

The Power of Kindness. It always works.

Here are my top 3 ways to employ the power of kindness:

1. Take a deep breath.

2. Choose your words wisely, using filters and the 15-second rule. (Pause long enough to let go of your emotional response - up to 15 seconds.)

3. Lastly, think about whether what you are going to say is truly necessary. If it's not, don?t say it.

3+. Practice often!

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Part III of having a ROCKin' attitude is consistency. Here are the 10 Commandments of Upside Leadership which are all about the power of influence.

1. Thou shalt recognize the importance of others.
2. Thou shalt listen to other viewpoints.
3. Thou shalt build relationships.
4. Thou shalt honor self first, family second, and work third.
5. Thou shalt remember that life is change but growth is optional.
6. Thou shalt be honest in all dealings, personally and professionally.
7. Thou shalt create a vision that is built on giving back.
8. Thou shalt fully comprehend the meaning of discipline, commitment, and choice.
9. Thou shalt practice the art of saying “I don’t know” if thou does not know.
10. Thou shalt share enthusiasm and excitement with others.

And, thou shalt be consistent, despite the world around you.

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Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. – Bill Bradley

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Since the second facet in having an attitude that rocks is openness, I thought it would be good to share my resources on communication.

Open and honest communication is essential to fostering teamwork and you guessed it, building relationships (facet #1). Without it, employees lose focus, loyalty to the group weakens, and conflicts arise. In personal relationships, people make up what they do not know which can be disastrous to marriages and families.

As with other leadership principles, you set the tone: Model the behavior you want to see by being open and honest with others.

Whether it is delivering timely, specific praise, or constructive criticism, it is important to let people know where they stand.

Having an attitude that rocks means understanding that while conflict is normal and part of life, holding crucial conversations when necessary will help make the situation easier than ignoring it will.

Lastly, listen to another point of view, focusing on the issue, without assigning blame. Work towards a resolution that’s always best for the organization, not for necessarily for one individual.

Being open and honest isn’t always easy, but the benefits pay high dividends in the long run.

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“You must remember,” a wise person once told me, “that the shadow of your influence will fall across somebody’s path every day of your life. It’s up to you what kind of example you will be and what kind of influence you will have.”
- Calvin Louis Fudge

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"Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for astonishment rather than torpor; in short, for a sort of life, rather than a Monday-to-Friday sort of dying."
- Studs Terkel

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Yankee Stadium closed its doors today. The end of an era. Babe Ruth. Whitey Ford. Yogi Berra. Reggie Jackson.

All of the greats played at Yankee Stadium. Talented players, all with different skills and abilities, and all with great heart.

I’ve made some great memories in the stands watching games there. In a New York moment, life moves at a different pace. You can’t explain what it is or why, it just is and just does.

Looking at all of the talent in that one place one evening made me think what an incredible world it would be if everyone used their talents to the fullest, not just on one night but every day. What an incredible world it would be!

At this very moment, are you using your talents to the best of your ability? And, what talents, skills, and abilities would win you “Most Valuable Player” at the end of the day?

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"Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

Only a few more days until the announcement of my Success Series........

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"When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the
darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either
you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."
- Edward Teller

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My birthday came and went this year. I was in a new city, far away from anyone who knew it was the day I was born. Even Jim was out of town.

While it didn’t look like any birthday I’d had before, it was special in its own way. I woke up and went through my morning routine. After walking downstairs, I thought, “It’s my birthday!” and so I sat on my mustard-yellow couch and counted my blessings one by one. And, as I thought about all that I have to celebrate in my life, I was filled with incredible gratitude.

After about ten minutes of sitting and going through my list, I felt it again – the feeling that comes with the clarity of understanding who you are, what matters most, and why you were put on this earth.

I know that I am here to transform the lives of leaders by helping them to answer the same questions about their personal and professional lives. You see, when you have answers to those questions, you know you experience joy and peace like you’ve never known before.

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Today I woke up and wandered to my computer, thinking about all I had to do. I was feeling a little off but thought I would just jump right into my work. After answering a few dozen emails and feeling really proud of myself, as if I was right on track, I looked around the office and thought, "Oh my! I'm in the dark!"

There I was, sitting at my desk typing away, and I had failed to turn on any lights in my office. I hadn't bothered to open the curtains either. And, I was sitting in the dark.

It occured to me that at that moment, it was just me, my thoughts and my laptop, clicking away. And, so I turned on a few lights and threw open the curtains, and a whole new perspective was born. I could see better.

Being in the dark is a funny thing. If you aren't aware that you're in the dark, you may not be aware of the effect this is having on you and your organization.

I believe organizational leadership deals with this challenge more often than they realize. Some business owners and managers operate in a vaccuum. They make decisions completely unaware of what is going on in the world around them. They're in the dark on what truly matters most, affecting their people and their bottom line.

So, what is the solution? Start by turning on the lights. Look around, who are your change agents at work and in your life? Who are the people who are capable of speaking honestly about the direction the company is headed (the #1 leadership characteristic), regardless of the consequences? And, then ask yourself, are you willing to listen? (Disclaimer: People who complain or fail to bring solutions are NOT your champions of change.)

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One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you're perceived to be by others."
--Edward L. Flom, CEO of Florida Steel

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Well, it's almost here. JIm and I sign the papers, closing on our new house tomorrow.

(It has been 2 1/2 months since we moved into the hotel...a very nice hotel but a hotel nonetheless. I did this once before when I worked for the Department of Homeland Security, spending a whopping 6 months in an Embassy Suites. I was there so long that the staff knew me well and new guests assumed I worked there!)

Yesterday, I was in a panic. Have we contacted all parties involved? Is every piece in place? Will my desk fit into my new office?!? From a leadership perspective, there is a lesson to be learned in all of this.

While it is good to have your eye on the prize and move towards closing a deal, to truly lead your business or your life, you need to have a plan that is part of your BIG vision. This plan should include today as well as reach 50 years into the future....yes, 50 years! As Donald Trump said, " If you're going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big."

I'm not talking about scheduling every moment and squeezing the joy and spontaneity out of life. But, realizing your BIG vision means thinking about more than the BIG moments. It means having little goals that are as important to the big plan as knowing where you're going.

Goals should be specific, written, and tended to often with an understanding that sometimes they may need to change or be adjusted. And, those goals need to be focused on more than just closing deals. After all, when you get close to reaching your goal, you want to feel excited about what is because you know it is all part of your bigger plan and you are one step closer to the next step on your journey.

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Now that I've made the decision to write more consistently in my blog, sharing leadership lessons from an upside thinking perspective, it's amazing the feeling of accomplishment that has come from that decision.

And, that is one of the things that great leaders do well. They think BIG. They take risks. They make decisions. A leader knows that he/she may not always make the right choice, but they know that it is their responsibility to take the helm and choose a direction. When I am hired by the leadership of an organization to help them effect change, I provide tools and training but not the values and vision.

As Teddy Roosevelt said, "In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." And, the greatest sense of accomplishment comes from choosing a path and getting the tools you need to succeed on your journey.

Posted by LMP at 06:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it."
- Raymond Chandler, American novelist

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"Ability is what you're capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it."
- Raymond Chandler, American novelist

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At one of my last motivational seminars, a woman raised her hand and said, "Why can't things just remain the same?" Being a big proponent of change and someone who deals with change better than most, I paused for a moment to think about where this woman was coming from. Was it fear of the unknown or did she love what she did so much that she couldn't bear the thought of changing? All I knew was that this woman was at a crossroad in her life.

We live in a world that is ever changing. People, organizations, and life continues to evolve, presenting us with new paradigms, ideas, and philosophies every day. I once read a postcard that had a quote that captured what I believe about change --"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

Posted by LMP at 07:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Are you an expert in your field? Maybe a better question would be, "Do you believe you are an expert in your field?"

Most of us do what we like. We like it because we're good at it. Why would anyone spend time doing something they don't like? Being an expert is understanding the areas in your life you do well and doing them....doing them often.

One of the most important aspects of understanding your expertise is looking at your strengths, not other people. Have you ever compared yourself to others? If you answered "yes", I encourage you to STOP right now! We all have something that we do well and it's important to focus on our strengths and acknowledge our expert status.

Being a recognized expert is the best way to advance professionally. What is it about you that makes you different than others in your profession? What you are an expert at and how are you going to share it with others?

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"If we do not change direction,
we are liable to end up where we are headed."
- Confucius

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I've received a few phone calls from people who faithfully read my blog and want to know what his "What is Success? poem is all about. Here are the words.

What is Success?

To laught often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

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I would have liked to have met Ralph Waldo Emerson at a local coffee shop just to get to know him a little better. I quote his work often, especially his poem, "What is Success?" and have carried around several of his pieces in my wallet until the paper became so soft that it actually started to dissintegrate. Today seemed like a great day to share one of his less popular pieces in Upside Living.

"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; Forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; Begin it well and serenely,
And with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This day is all that is good and fair.
It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations,
To waste a moment on the yesterdays."

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The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as: A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future. Interesting.

The reality is that while most people can tell you what time it is, they can't necessarily tell you what time is because it is a paradox. We speak in minutes, hours, days, and years, and yet, what is it that we are measuring? Regardless of race, ethnicity, social status, etc., etc., time is the same for everyone; we all get the same days in a year, hours in a day, and minutes in an hour.

It's rare to attend a business conference or work retreat and not hear the words "Time Management" mentioned. I guess it's because every moment counts in life and some people know how to make time work for them. Throughout my life, my friends would often comment on how I was able to accomplish so much during the week. Work, household responsibilities, community functions, family gatherings and much, much more. It was as if they thought I had a magic formula or was blessed with more time in my life rather than the ability to manage and leverage what we all are given - 24 hours.

Whether you're at hard at work or hard at play, you are producing something. Be aware of what your product looks like to others and remember that time doesn't stand still for anyone. Make every moment count!

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I like cereal. I liked it as a child and I like it even more as an adult. Jim and I usually have a bowl of Cheerios together before he leaves for work. In the 1970's, I was every marketing companies dream child because I would watch television and bug the heck out of my mom to buy me whatever cereal was being advertised. It didn't take much for me to be convinced that I just had to have whatever brand of cereal that bought ad space that week.

Marketing companies do have it right. Kids like animals, creatures, and colors which is why Lucky Charms was on my top 10 list. The commercials always featured Lucky, the cute, charming leprechan who created marshmellow shapes out of his rainbow magic. There were pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, and blue diamonds and Lucky said that they were magically delicious so I believed him!

While the formula of Lucky Charms has changed over the years and some of the shapes no longer exist, I remember how facinated I was with Lucky and the thought of his pot of gold. What is the legend of the pot of gold? Why are rainbows and leprechauns associated with it?

One of the most beautiful sights in nature, the rainbow has been associated with many stories and fables to explain its existence. In the western world, it has become a symbol of hope, beauty, and awe....something "lucky" to have seen but it's because of Irish mythology that leprechauns have become know to hide their pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. Irish Americans could often be heard telling stories about how gold could be found if you followed the rainbow to the end. This tale is fascinating because we'd all like to believe it's true.

Finding your pot of gold involves more than a little luck and good marketing. Finding your pot of gold involves having a clear vision and direction for your journey. Finding your pot of gold involves having a large sphere of influence and upside impact partners to help you on your journey. As Thomas Jefferson said, "I believe in luck. I find that the harder I work, the more I have."

May you find your pot of gold and may it be more brilliant than you ever imagined!

Posted by LMP at 07:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The famous saying has triggered a phenomenon where just about everyone is familiar with the Verizon guy. But how often do we truly feel we're not being heard?

In almost every presentation I deliver, I incorporate a block on active listening because I believe that it is an art form that is disappearing in both homes and in the workplace. Speaking from experience, I know there are times when I have tried to share something that I thought was valuable with someone who I knew wasn't listening. Because I felt it was soooo important, I continued, only to be frustrated in the process. Worse yet is being involved in a "conversation" where the person you're speaking with chooses only to hear what they want to hear or isn't mentally present for the conversation.

These situations have an uncomfortableness about them. The upside thinker in me recognizes that sometimes I need to walk away. Walking away isn't giving up on what I believe in. Walking away is about understanding that we are all in a different place in life. Sometimes the message I carry isn't one that everyone is comfortable, ready, or willing to hear.

It's taken me a long time to remember that it's important to love people for who they are and not who you want them to be. That is part of the joy of living on the upside!

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As Yogi Berra said, "If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up someplace else." And, so it is with leadership.

Keep in mind that it is important to map out a clear direction for your journey. Don't forget to enjoy the sights along the way!

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One of my cousins avoided bedtime at all costs. He would kick and scream making the biggest scene whenever the word came up that if Hollywood ever came to his house, I was sure he would've received an Oscar for his performance. It wasn't that my cousin wanted to stay up, it was that he was afraid to go to sleep. And, after he fell asleep, once he woke up, he was afraid to get out of bed because he was certain that there were monsters living under his bed.

Last week I had lunch with one of my closest friends who said that she believes that 97% of all people live in fear of something. I don't remember the whole conversation but I do remember thinking about that particular sentence and how it applies to my own life. Am I afraid? If so, what am I afraid of?

Every coach across the world can be heard using the statement "limiting beliefs" at least once a day because whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have our own monsters under the bed, thoughts that keep us from being who we were meant to be. We all have our own set of FEARs -- False Experiences Appearing Real.

While I'd never seen a monster come out of my cousins bed, for him, the fear was real.....very real. Wouldn't it be neat if he could see the monster as his buddy, someone sent to protect him from harm? It takes courage to think about that which we don't like in our lives. It takes courage to acknowledge and face our fears.

I challenge and encourage you to look at your monsters and find the courage to meet with them face to face. Sometimes you need to be uncomfortable in order to grow.

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"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
- John Wooden

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One of my clients who is an executive in a medium-sized and growing company called me to tell me he really did it this time. He screwed up. He missed a deadline that was going to cost his company tens of thousands of dollars. My response was probably not what he was expecting, nor what I think he wanted to hear. I simply said, "So? What are you going to do about it now?"

It happens even to the best of us. We don't get the client. We don't make the sale. We don't get what we think we deserve. The bottom line is you can't change the past so what are you going to do about it now.

I thought the phone might have gone dead because my client was quiet. After a few moments, he sighed and asked me what I thought he should do. He forgot that good coaches don't give advice; they make their clients find it themselves. So I asked every coach's favorite question, "What do you think you should do?" (I think that was my supervisor's favorite question when I worked for Customs, as well.)

My client said, "I need to apologize, accept responsibility and be willing to deal with whatever comes next." Ding-Ding-Ding -- Johnny, we have a winner! This man is a genius. If there were three tips to recovering after making the biggest mistakes in our lives, this would be the magic formula.

1. Apologize -- While we'd all like to think we're perfect, we're not. Apologizing is not the same as making an excuse. Lectures are not apologies. Neither is the phrase "I'm sorry" followed by the word "but..." or letting the reciever know that he/she is not perfect, either. Apologizing is letting someone know you regret the choice you made and hope to have to have a chance to do better in the future. A true apology is sincere and shows concern for the receiver. Because you genuinely care, you feel disappointed in yourself for letting him/her down. If the person you let down is yourself, you still need to apologize.

2. Accepting responsibility -- Admit it. When you own your mistake take your lumps, you can find the joy in making the mistake. No doubt you've experienced both great success and great failure in life. This is just another opportunity to get better.

3. Be willing to deal with the consequences -- Choose to learn from your mis-steps. Spend time analyzing what went wrong and what you can do to ensure it never happens again while understanding that there is always a price to pay for making the mistake in the first place. No excuses allowed.

Alexander Pope wrote, "To err is human; to forgive divine." Good leaders understand that errors, mistakes, and mis-steps are part of business. Richard Branson, English entrepreneur worth over 7 billion, has given some of his employees a second chance even after stealing from him. My first supervisor told me that there was nothing that I did that couldn't be fixed, other than injuring someone on the job. By allowing others to find the joy in making mistakes, leaders open the door for characteristics such as responsibility and accountantability to enter -- two components in a healthy, growing, and prosperous organization.

How do you handle yourself when you make mistakes? When others make mistakes?

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Are you ever tired, overwhelmed, or just plain exhaused? Try these 11 steps which I guarantee will de-stress your life and help you find more joy in living.

1. Give yourself a bed time so that you get plenty of rest. If you know you operate better with 8 hours of sleep, parent yourself to ensure you get 8 hours of sleep

2. Start your day ahead of schedule. I don't use an alarm clock; I simply tell my body this is when I want to wake up. Give yourself plenty of time to get up. Remember, if you snooze, you lose. Do not hit the snooze button!

3. Just say "No". While this started off as a campaign for fighting drugs, we should use it to fight off everything in our lives that is stealing from our quality time....keeping us from spending time doing what we truly love.

4. Eat right. Our bodies are energy fields that need proper nutrition. I love to eat junk food -- hot dogs, pizza, chicken wings -- and I eat them when I want to reward myself for good behavior. Feed your body well!

5. Simplify your life. Purchase everything you need, not everything you want and organize your life. When you're organized, you think clearly. You've heard the saying, "Less is More". Less stress = More happiness!

6. Find the joy in the little things. Pay attention to the world around you. Look more. Listen more. Laugh more. Love more. When you find the joy and take life one moment at a time, everything falls into place.

7. Be a friend to have a friend. When we give of ourselves, we make it possible toevelop long-lasting friendships with good people. Seek out people who see your value and love you for who you are.

8. Schedule quality time with yourself. Get to know you. It is the best gift you can give your loved ones. I plan alone time with me every day. Sometimes I take time out for a massage or just to read but I schedule time for me!

9. Live with an attitude of gratitude. Every night before I go to bed, I review the events that took place throughout the day and write down three things for which I'm grateful. This excercise helps me to find the best in others.

10. Forgive. Most people are doing the best they can with what they have in life. Trust that the universe is unfolding just as it should and you are not its manager. Things will not always work out exactly as you imagined.

11. Pray. Ask whatever higher power you believe in for strength throughout the day. For me, it is God. I can do anything through Him. Remember, we can't make it through this journey alone.

Remember, upside thinking is about more happiness, success, and meaning not more happiness, stress, and meaning! Practice de-stressing one day at a time. It will turn into a habit that will bless you throughout your life.

Posted by LMP at 08:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Leadership is my passion. It is the piece that resonates in my being creating fire in my belly. I enjoy talking about it, speaking about it, learning about it and using it. I Love Leadership!

The Beatles rendition of "Love, love, love -- all you need is love", however, doesn't ring true for me. In any relationship, you need more than love. You need commitment, communication and concern for the other person's well being. Jim and I are involved in a wonderful ministry where we share our faith and love with couples who are engaged. One of the motto's of the organization is love is a decsion, which is very upside. You can always choose love. But, what does love got to do with leadership?

Great leaders make the decision to love their people and they choose to love with a servant's heart. The definition of love is deely caring for a person out of kinship or a sense of oneness. This is an integral part of being a "whole" leader. Great leaders are committed to their employees success, willing to openly communicate and share ideas, and continually show concern for their well-being.

In Buckingham and Coffman's book, "First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently", the authors share one of the key discoveries from a Gallup Organization poll. The study was conducted to determine how the best leaders attract, focus and keep talented employees. Over 80,000 managers from all levels across a broad range of countries, industries and companies were interviewed. The most successful companies were companies who had leaders who had answers to 12 questions. Question #5 was, "Does my supervisor or someone at work care about me as a person?" Great leaders care about people. Do you?

May you always choose love on your leadership journey! Ride the Upside!

Posted by LMP at 07:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"The greater thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going."
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

(Because the past does not determine the future!)

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Og Mandino, one of my all-time favorite American writers said, "I will persist until I succeed." When I lived in New Jersey, I volunteered my time to work with the youth in the community. The group gave presentations, listened, and held open discussion forums for teens. The program fulfilled several needs in the community. I participated because I believe the organizers got it right; modeling is one of the best ways to instill excellence into anyone's life.

One of the leaders in this group had a saying, "It's not about the falling down; it's always about the getting back up." None of us is perfect. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to mess up. There are going to be hurt feelings along the way. However, if we are of the mindset that in the end, I will succeed it will be easy to find the unlimited possiblities in our choices.

I encourage you to examine the times when you got back up vs. the times when you decided to give up. Why was it easier to persist and what made you decide to press on?

May you persist until you succeed on your upside journey for that is the stuff great leaders are made of!

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A-C-T-I-O-N ~ Action, Action, Action -- we want action. That was the fight cheer at one of the Little League football games when I was growing up. Too often we mistake moving...getting out of bed....for action. Are you just moving through the days, minutes and hours or are you living with purpose? Your purpose is your focus and aim that appears before you clearly every morning and all throughout the day. You know why you need to get out of bed because your purpose is waiting.

One of the three principles of Upside Thinking is "You are where you choose to be." You must choose to take action to live out your purpose. Action, not goals, create results. High-performance comes from action. Excellence comes from action. Self-actualization comes from action. Happiness comes from action. Peace comes from action.

What have you been delaying taking action on? What are you going to commit to act on today?

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When I joined the For You Network, which is an affiliate of the National Association of Female Executives, two years ago, one of the founding directors would enthusiastically say again and again, "It's all about showing up." So much of life is about showing up. While this woman often referred to showing up as being necessary to meet others, I believe showing up is more than being physically present for an event or activity, it’s about being intentional -- making the decision to not only attend but to extend.

I've shared with you that over ten years ago, when I was still working in Federal law enforcement, I attended a leadership development class. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go but I made the decision to “show up”. The instructor shared that over 90% of all Americans have no direction or long term plan for their lives. 90%! From that day forward, I was determined to be different and decided to live my life with intention so I wrote my mission statement for life which I've tried to live each and every day. Here is part of it:

• To laugh, love, live & be happy.
• To create magic in my life & the lives of those around me.
• To never judge others for life is hard.
• To achieve balance – physically, mentally & spiritually.
• To welcome open & honest communication.
• To have a smile on my face & joy in my heart.
• To live simply, possessing integrity & courage.
• To find the best in others.
• To understand that the Universe is unfolding just the way it should be.

Many of you make the choice to “show up” every week, every day, every hour, despite the difficulties in your personal lives. Showing up isn't easy and that's what makes it so wonderful when it happens. We may not always feel motivated to keep our commitments and we may also wrestle with the time our countless commitments take, but once you make the decision to show up, magic happens. Physically getting out the door is often the biggest hurdle to showing up. Once we’re there, if we bring all of our self along, it's easy to feel good. (I talk about that at on our Catholic Engaged Encounter weekends.)

It’s not enough to believe you want to live an extraordinary life, you must be committed to it....which means you must be committed to showing up each and every moment of your life.

Show up to knowledge — Look for educational opportunites. They're all around you.
Show up to health — Eat your fruits and veggies and excercise.
Show up to kindness — Be gentle and show courtesy to everyone.
Show up to love — Find the best in others...always....for love is a decision.
Show up to leadership — Create a clear vision and be honest as you forge ahead.
Show up to growth — Be open to new ideas and people in order to expand your thoughts, and actions.
Show up to life – Intentionally live out every moment, attempting to be a better & better you.

I challenge you to make a commitment to continue showing up. It’s amazing what the simple practice of showing up can achieve over time. You don’t need to be brilliant, you just need to be consistent. (Just ask my husband who has been running for over 25 years every morning.) Results accumulate if you keep showing up. I live with an attitude of gratitude. Writing in my journal every night, listing all that I am grateful for, reinforces my decision to choose gratefulness. If I only wrote once in a while, it wouldn't have had a life-changing effect.

Hanging behind my desk when I worked in Newark, NJ was one of my favorite sayings --

Pay attention to your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.
Pay attention to your words, for your words become your actions.
Pay attention to your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Pay attention to your habits, for your habits become your character,
Pay attention to your character, for your character becomes your destiny.

Whatever you consistently "show up" to will become your destiny. What will be your destiny?

Posted by LMP at 07:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Life is full of risk. Some people believe just getting out of bed some days can be risky. To "risk" is to take a chance on two very different outcomes -- winning or losing. The most obvious example of an investment that reduces risk would be the purchase of insurance where the buyer pays a guaranteed amount, and is "protected" from a potential loss -- usually a loss that would put a significant dent in the pocketbook. Yet, I know people who don't believe in insurance. Gambling is a risk increasing investment, because although the money being risked would yield a possible large return, the odds are low and the gambler has the potential to lose it all. I know people who don't believe in this either.

Some people make a living as professional risk assessors, combining the probability of an event occurring with the impact that event would have. Adam Sandler assessed risk for a living in the movie "Along Came Polly", starring Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston and Rodolfo, the blind ferret. He even carried it over into his personal life to the nth degree and risked losing the woman he was interesting in getting to know better. I believe risk is part of the upside journey. How else can you determine your Unlimited Possibilities? Are you a risk taker or a risk avoider -- and why?

http://www.alongcamepolly.com

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Food gives our bodies energy. We need energy in order to perform to the best of our ability which is why proper diet and nutrition are important to living a healthy life. The same is true with our minds. What we feed our thoughts day in and day out will create our reality. Our minds react to what they see over and over again.

In high school, I remember my mother saying, "Garbage in. Garbage out." At the time, I didn't know what she meant. Today, not only do I understand where she was coming from...I have become my mother! One example that comes to mind is when I visited a friend in Washington, DC several years ago. She wanted to stay up and watch a show that was very popular at the time but it wasn't the most soul-filling intellectual choice on television. I never saw the show and didn't own a television at the time and I still knew it wasn't food for the spirit. So I told her I was going to bed. When she asked why, I said, "Garbage in. Garbage out." She looked shocked and still teases me about this episode today.

Feeding your body properly is just as important as feeding your spirit. What have you dined on today?

Posted by LMP at 07:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Get over it. Perfection just isn't an option. Making mistakes is part of life. Growing up, I didn't want to believe it so I fought hard to be perfect. Within the last few years, I've made the decision to surrender. I am not perfect. There -- I said it. I make mistakes. I remember thinking, "Whew! The pressure's off me now that my secret's out." But, the reality is that each and every one of us screws up at some point. No one is error free. We all trip and fall down. The upside question is, "Do you get back up again with ease?"

"You're going to make mistakes in life. It's what you do after the mistakes that counts."
Brandi Chastain (1968 - ) American soccer player, Olympic champion
www.itsnotaboutthebra.com

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Oh, the joys of living in Southern California! It's January and I still see the sun every day! Today, Jim and I ran errands and wandered around outside. While the wind was blowing, we were grateful to bask in the warmth of the good 'ol California Sunshine! It is one of the things on my list of what I am most grateful for.

The Sun is the star at the center of our solar system and planet Earth orbits the Sun. It serves as the main source of energy for living things on Earth, giving off heat and light.

Questions for your upside journey....What is the one thing that you hold most important in your life? What lies at the center of your universe and gives you energy? What do your thoughts and decisions revolve around every day?

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I'm a huge fan of Jim Henson's work. While I was an overachiever in school and primarily an "A" student, I just couldn't find my creative voice. (I'm happy to say we've recently reunited and in certain aspects would've even be able to give 'ol JH a run for his money.) I was probably one of the few kids in school who almost failed art class. I would watch his programming in awe, intrigued at how he made things come alive. Even today, whenever I go to Disney, I never miss going on one of the muppet rides.

Since death of Jim Henson, puppeteer and creator of the muppets, the company has experienced much transition, including the sale of the muppets to Disney. Within the last several years, the Henson family has been looking for a new family of characters to bring to life. John Chandler from the Jim Henson company recently created "The Skrumps", 100's of colorful, funny, alien-like characters. A skrump is defined as a buddy, a pal, a companion. There's Lazy Louie, Raisins, Skrumpy and many, many more. My favorite is "Wishbone", not because he loves himself but because he is a dreamer.

Sometimes it takes characters like the Skrumps to tap into a special part of our brain that will give us a fresh perspective. I encourage you to find places you can go to nourish your soul and foster your dreams. Remember, the upside journey is one of unlimited possibilities!

If you want more information about the Skrumps, check out www.henson.com.

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"Greatness is a matter of a moment. Goodness is the work of a lifetime."
- Sri Chinmoy

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Two Thousand and Seven ~ The New Year is here with the chance of a lifetime. Every January, people around the United States believe they are given the chance to re-invent themselves through one of the traditions of the season, the making of New Year's resolutions. This tradition dates back to the early Babylonians where the most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment. Popular modern resolutions often include the promise to lose weight, quit smoking or achieve career advancement.

In reality, we are all given the chance to reinvent ourselves every morning. The beginning of the New Year shouldn’t be the only time to make promises to ourselves to improve our lives. We should wake up every morning and view the day as an opportunity to make a difference – a challenge to be better than we’ve ever been before.

Throughout this month of January, I encourage you to examine the past, celebrate the present and look to the future, knowing it will be amazing. I always purchase a journal and celebrate the past year by listing all that I have – all of my talents, knowledge gained and lessons learned. It is important to acknowledge and appreciate what we have before we can ever ask for more. Then, I challenge myself, just as I challenge you, to make a list of what you want or expect to happen in 2007. Please note that if 2006 wasn’t as prosperous as you would have liked, take heart in the many lessons you’ve learned from your experiences on your upside journey. May you resolve any unhappiness with the past in order to purposefully and passionately move forward….for 2007 will be your best year ever!

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I refuse to get caught up in the mad rush that occurs the week before December 25th. My mother purchased her gifts starting in September and finished her wrapping by Thanksgiving. Because of her example, I shop all year, choosing to spend the season relaxing and enjoying the good company of friends. I try to see a Christmas play and treat myself to something special.

Yesterday afternoon, I sat spellbound from a phenomenal Christmas performance at the Lawrence Welk Theatre in Escondido. As if that weren't enough, Jim and I went to one of our favorite restaurants, Anthony's. While the food there is the best Italian I've ever eaten, one of the best parts of the experience is Brad. Brad is the manager of the restaurant or "ristorante" and created the definition for customer service excellence. He's genuine, honest and rates as one of the top three best servers we've ever had in our lives. His leadership example is one that should be modeled by anyone in retail throughout the country.

Even if you're not trying to avoid the holiday hustle, get out and see Brad at Anthony's. He's definately an upside thinker!

www.anthonysristorante.net

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The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the
door to personal excellence."

Eddie Robinson (1919 - )
Hall of Fame college football coach

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Why do people buy gifts for others? Gifts are something that is given voluntarily, without any compensation expected. During the holiday season, most people spend both time and money attempting to select the "perfect" gift. I, too, am one of those people, turning into Santa's elf around the 15th of every December. But I still haven't answered the original question ~ why do people do it, why do they buy gifts for their family, friends and loved ones?

I believe that giving a gift to someone is more about the thought than what is given. Personally, I take my time when I am traveling to consciously and intentionally think about the people in my life. When I see something that seems "just perfect", it's like finding a hidden treasure. It excites me to give this gift to a special friend, hoping that they understand how much they mean to me and that they were on my mind and it doesn't have to be big or expensive just personal. After all, who doesn't like to feel special? (Which, by the way, is something that great leaders do very well......)

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I wrote about my dog, Edison, in my monthly newsletter. I picked him out at the animal shelter when I was 6 years old. When I received the call that Eddie had died, I was in college. Most people don't have the pleasure of enjoying their pets for over 15 years. Edison was wonderful because no matter what I experienced during the day he was always there for me. Whether I had a good or bad day at school and wanted to tell someone all about it, Edison would listen patiently until I finished the entire story. If I needed someone to play with, Eddie would be at my side without protest. And what I remember most of all is that when I came through that door after school each day, he showered me with unconditional love.

When I reflect upon these childhood experiences with Edison, I believe there are some leadership lessons that we can integrate into our personal and professional lives. In the workplace, if you’re serving (yes, serving) in role of executive, manager or supervisor, do you turn off the “taskmaster” long enough so your employees see you when you walk through the door each morning – full of greetings, smiles and cheer? Or do they dread seeing you each morning because they know that before they can settle into their chair and get their day planned you will be bearing over them with another work-related question or task?

This is a great time of the year to take inventory of our behavior and how we interact with family, friends and co-workers. Have you ever thought about what they think of your behavior or how you are perceived and what you could do better? I encourage you to ask them as they’re the ones you interact with most and they’re the best source of valuable feedback on how you can become a better person in your personal and professional life. A positive change in your life just might be the best present you could give someone this Christmas season.

(partial reprint from December 2006 newsletter)

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This is the time of year for endless Christmas parties. Jim and I travel from house to house for the festivities, leaving very little time in our already busy schedules for each other. Since taking on the responsibilities of being the diocesan coordinators for Catholic Engaged Encounter, our plate is full. However, as we look around at our friends and business associates, it is one of the things we have in common. Busy people know how to live life to the fullest.

Because of our newfound duties, Jim and I were responsible for helping to plan the annual Christmas party. As ususal, we recevied rsvp's from every couple and their children as well. On the day of the party, Santa came and brought gifts for each of the children which isn't something that had been done in previous years. The joy and gratitude on the face of each child made all of my trips to the store and running around worthwhile.

I invited Santa because I truly care about each of the children in this ministry. However, I believe there is a lesson I learned that could have only been found through the eyes of those children. If we live our lives each day with the intent of making a difference, the leadership possibilities would be endless...and everyone would be an upside thinker!

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"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
3rd President of the United States and principal author of the Declaration of Independence

p.s. Continue to ride the upside and you'll have much luck today!

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O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How Lovely Are Thy Branches!

My family always invested in a live Christmas tree. My mom picked a date to take the annual drive to a local tree farm and select the perfect one. We scoured the field, looking at the color and the texture of the branches (and the price!). After we made our decision, my mother would have it cut down and tied it to the roof of our car as we sang Christmas carols on the drive home.

While my parents still put up a live tree every year, I've never had a live tree of my own. Sure, I've put up a fake fir but never felt quite like Christmas, nor did it have that Christmas smell. This year I asked Jim if we could have a live tree. He wasn't crazy about the idea and so I let it go. This afternoon, however, he went out to run an errand and came home with a 7 foot Christmas tree! It is one of the most beautiful trees I have ever seen and it looks perfect in our house.

Whether you're at work or at home, doing something "nice" for someone -- being thoughtful and kind, should be part of who you are. Setting an example or modeling excellence gives others an opportunity to see the possibilities or options even in crummy situations. This Christmas season choose to be an example of all that is good in the world. Choose to live on the upside.

p.s. What is your amazing Christmas tree memory?

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There are times when I'm working and it just doesn't feell like work. Everything comes together -- my thoughts, my creativity, my plans -- and I am in awe. Today was one of those days. Ursula and I spent hours working on our upcoming book at Panera Bread while sipping on tea and eating sweets. Anyone watching us would have been inspired. (I wanted to take notes on us!) We were firing off ideas and wordsmithing as if there were a prize at the end of the day. And, there was a prize. The prize was satisfaction for a job well done -- That's how you know you're fulfilling your life's purpose. While work may be challenging, it should never be dreadful. Have you discovered your life's purpose? If so, what do you enjoy most about your work?

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As I sit in Latte Da doing my work, I'm distracted by a Brazilian exchange student and his sponsor playing Monopoly. Because I am a chronic multi-tasker, I find focusing on one idea to be a challenge. However, my attention span is divided because this particular interation is about much more than a board game -- it is a battle of wits, where ethics, training, negotiation, sales and, of course, leadership come into play.

As I listen, I think about how much of what we do every minute of every day creates the neuro-network that forms how we live our lives. The choices that we make in simple games like Monopoly serve as training for the BIG decisions. How we speak, how happy we are for the others' successes, how honest we are, how willing we are to make concessions and the example we set for others creates opportunities in business and life.

Each of us lives by our own set of rules and standards. What are your definitions of success? What are you hoping to achieve? Whatever they answer, upside thinking and Monopoly can help get you there!

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There are two things that keep me from having pets -- 1) beautiful hardwood floors and 2) my husband.

There's something wonderful about walking on hardwood floors and before I moved into our house, I asked my husband if we could take out the 7 different types of flooring, from tile to berber carpet, and have hardwood put in. He said "yes" and chose an unfinished Brazilian cherry to match our cabinets. I was in heaven and truly love walking into our home.

I'm just kidding with my second reason of why I don't have pets. Since I spend a considerable amount of time on the road, my husband reminds me that pets need to be cared for 24 x 7 -- not just when I'm in town -- and so I give him the credit for making me realize why this would be a challenge. He, however, has found a place for me to get my pet fix. It's a bed and breakfast in the northwoods of Ashland, Wisconsin, where he grew up. The owners of the Inn at Timber Cove have two beautiful daughters and two wonderful dogs. On our visits, I take the dogs for a walk in the morning and play with them in the afternoon. While it is 6 months in between visits, they remember me when I return and I feel as if they're "my" pets.

Everytime we pull up to the Inn at Timber Cove, I think about why having pets is important. What do dogs "bring to the table" that so many people want them? I believe one of the pieces of research I cite in my leadership classes holds the key. Most people don't get enough recognition or praise in their daily life and dogs love you no matter what. They're comforting and look forward to seeing you that you can't help but smile. Being appreciated or valued is what all humans need and so often what too few get at work and sometimes at home.

If organizations aren't going to recognize their employees, maybe they should think about investing in a few dogs to walk over lunch. I certainly would be inclined to work there!

www.innattimbercove.com

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It started off as a chance meeting, became a strategic business partnership and is now a friendship.

Tomorrow, Ursula C. Mentjes will unveil her first book, entitled $elling with intention. This isn't "just another sales book" as the many nay-sayers are inclined to proclaim. This is a sales book written by a dynamic woman (which, by the way, there are very few women in the field of sales) who truly cares about helping others grow personally and professionally. Buying the book is one of the best decisions you will ever make.

One of the greatest lessons in leadership is being able to be happy for the success of the people around you. Cheers to you, Ms. Ursula for helping others do the things they think they cannot do!!!

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I used to be a runner. In high school, I ran cross country (poorly) and, over time, got to be pretty good. I loved the physical aspect of running as much as I loved the feeling after I was finished. Unfortunately, my right knee didn't enjoy running as much as the rest of me did and so I closed that chapter in my life.

Jim runs faithfully every morning at approximately 4 a.m. Running is as much a part of his life as breathing. In the early 90's when he was living in Coronado, he ran with the Bonita Roadrunners. Fifteen years later, he still maintains his friendship with this wonderful group of guys and, today, several of the original runners drove up to Riverside at 5 a.m. to run in the MIssion Inn Run with him. Between the ages of 38 - 60 years old, they came in first place in the open team division last year. (Unfortunately, they were beat by a group of 20 somethings this year.)

While I find them all charming, witty and likeable, what I enjoy most is watching them together. They willingly support each other at home and work and I find the synergy they've created to be not only remarkable but magical.

In order to build a high-functioning team in private industry or the public sector, you must operate from the perspective that one person's triumph is everyone's triumph and one person's disappointment is everyone's disappointment. Dave, Berek, Brian, Jimmy P., Kenny and Mike live this model and I am grateful that I get the chance to hang out with this great group of guys. Go Toads!

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When you own your own business, board retreats and vacations become one out of necessity. After an amazing week at the Case Ranch Inn in Forestville, CA, it was time to dive into the pile of work that had been patiently waiting for me. My first official day back and I was scheduled to spend the day with Ursula working on our collaborative book project. We were scheduled to review our work and then finish up the day with a massage at Palm's Day Spa. In deciding where to meet, we were looking for a place that was business friendly -- meaning spacious, with free wi-fi and good eats! Ursula suggested Panera Bread, a bakery-cafe specializing in fine artisian breads, and I immediately I said "Yes!" (Not only is their food fabulous but they are good stewards in the community.)

Just as I arrived, Ursula received a call from her publisher for "Selling With Intention", a must-read....not just because we're friends but because it is a powerful sales book. As I stood in the lobby waiting, one of the employees came over to me and asked if I was waiting for something. I explained that I was waiting for my friend to be finished with her call. He joked around with me a bit and his comments made me feel as if I had been secretly transported back to the New York metropolitan area. When Ursula was finished, we ordered two hot ginger teas, eager to start our work. Marc teased us a bit more before while getting our hot water. He had an affable personality and I was enjoying our "shop" talk. After a few minutes, he said something very profound, further validating what I tell my clients and myself often -- "No matter what work you do, you must believe in it 100%. Any doubt will hinder the amount of success you achieve."

Marc Konowal is a visionary who understands one of the most important success principles in business -- believing in yourself. While our scrumptious lemon artichoke chicken panini and delicious soups filled my body, Marc's insight and validation filled my entrepreneurial spirit.

You can find Marc at Panera Bread at 3560 Riverside Plaza Dr,, Riverside, CA 92506 or find out more about Panera Bread at www.panerabread.com.

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I used to think I could do it all. Actually, I thought I had to do it all. Aboout seven years ago, I recognized that I could do so much more if I concentrated on what I was really good at and had someone help me out with the rest. Therefore, I hired a cleaning lady, someone to run errands and paid someone to do my laundry. Today, as I look at Upside Thinking, I am keenly aware that without having learned that lesson, vacations would be much more difficult and so would running the business as the President and CEO. I am grateful for Sheri, my virtual assistant, who makes my life easy. Feel free to contact her at Integrity Business Solutions -- sgranneman@comcast.net. If you've come to realize that you can't do it all either, I guarantee she'll make you feel like you can!

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As I took my walk with Rosa this morning, we began talking about our families. I had just returned from a visit to Pennsylvania to see my folks. One of Rosa's comments struck me at the core. As an achiever, I have become so accustomed to "doing" that "being" has become much more difficult...especially with those I care about the most.
Achieving or "doing" is important, however, if we're not paying attention, it's easy to make decisions that aren't aligned with our life's purpose.

My communication classes often focus on active listening, as being present to and for others is a skill that is often overlooked. I suppose an added component should be do you spend more time as a "human being" or a "human doing" and how does your decision affect your ability to connect with the people in your life?

I leave tomorrow for a week of "just being" and I challenge you to schedule some time to do the same!

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I don't have time to get sick. Isn't that a funny statement? When something is physically wrong with us, our bodies are trying to tell us that something is out of sorts. So here it is, Halloween, the one-year anniversary of my husband's nickname for me (Punky - short for Punkin' - short for Pumpkin!) and I woke up looking like I found my costume in the middle of the night. (A scary costume....) I stared at the mirror thinking this must be a Halloween trick.

Because I'm leaving for vacation this week, I've got a lot on my plate. I decided to ignore my BIG swollen red eye, violating one of the foundational principles of Upside Thinking - health first, continued about my daily business. Two hours into my routine, I thought about my actions and their consequences and decided to call the doctor. She gave me an appointment 30 minutes later and by 11 a.m. confirmed that I indeed had an eye infection (virus). Because I toldl her that I also had a stuffy head, she suggests I see my family doctor. By 4 p.m., he tells me the good news -- I also have a middle ear infection, fever and sore throat. Wow! No Halloween party or bag of treats for me this October 31st! I allowed myself a pity party for about 60 seconds and then found the upside. Being sick gave me the chance to spend quality time with me today -- which is a real treat. It's all about finding the possibilities!
Happy Halloween, my friends!

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After living in the New York metropolitan area for over a decade, I took for granted all of the special things that "the City" had to offer. One of my favorites was shopping with my mother and sister in the garment district, Chinatown or the diamond district (actually my Dad was lots of fun there!). When our board advisor for the For You Network in Moreno Valley saw a personal shopper on television who knew the ins and outs of LA, we jumped at the chance to be part of this urban shopping adventure. For only $99, our outing included breakfast, networking, wine & cheese, a lunch snack box, games and raffle prizes! Jennifer Kossler, event planner extraordinaire, created a one-of-a-kind experience for all. (Unfortunately, she didn't get to enjoy the fruits of her labor, as she was caring for her son who fell ill.) At the end, we sang "Happy Birthday" to Peggy Ricks, an amazing color & image consultant and dear friend. I enjoy connecting with other women and found this trip to be really special. In the end, it really is all about the relationship(s).

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I spent the last week at the Womanairre Extraordinaire conference in Long Beach. Lots of driving and a huge commitment of my time. After being out of town for 10 days, I really wasn't sure how I was going to pull this off. I signed up for two reasons -- 1) to honor my friend, Terilee Harrison who was one of the presenters and is the lovely woman standing next to me & 2) to recharge my batteries because I always tell my clients about how important it is to do that and not living your own advice is bad karma. (I ended up having a good time, meeting a few INCREDIBLE women and re-connected with a few other amazing individuals from my not-too-distant past. I plan on keeping in touch with some of these extraordinary women -- Kammy, Ann, Jody, Kelli, Mary Ann, Stephany and Donna all made the drive worthwhile.)

So.....before I made my drive on Friday, I stopped at the Soup Shoppe in Riverside to get a bite to eat. As I was waiting for my ham, egg and cheese sandwich on squaw bread, there was a bit of commotion at the table behind me. I looked over and saw country fried steak, eggs, potatoes and toast all over one of the patrons jeans, floor and table. It looked like a the work of a little boy in his terrible two's -- a VERY BIG mess. After 10 years in Federal law enforcement and being the President of a successful coaching business, I've seen a lot and calmly waited for the explosion. (Plus, I love a good story for my presentations.) What I witnessed was a bit of EI, EI-O! Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence- Oh, my!

When the plate dropped, everyone in the restatuant was quiet and turned to see what happened, including me. Then, Kevin, who turned out to be the man with the gravy and eggs all over his jeans, said "this is all my fault". (He was taking responsibility ~ unusual!). He even apologized several times to the waitress. He could've yelled and cursed her out but he didn't. He chose the upside. While the manager was on the floor cleaning up the mess, one of the waitresses went back to the cook and requested the breakfast again. He asked "why?". I thought now here it comes....the explosion....but nothing. She said "because it's all over the floor" and the cook simply said "O.K"! He, too, was an upside thinker. The last part was amazing. The manager says "it's ok, we're getting the carpet cleaned this weekend!" That's an upside thinker. Upside is about the possibilities in every circumstance. Kevin's friends chose to laugh with him, not at him, and the whole thing became a comical interlude rather than the start of a bad day....for the customers, the employees and Kevin.

Our choices determine where we are in life. Choose to live on the upside! Thank you to Kevin, Jim and the City of Riverside!

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As I sat on the plane from Houston to Ontario, I began to cry. I don't know what the two ladies next to me were thinking but I was glad it was dark. It was 9 p.m when our plan took off and I was the only person reading -- everyone else was trying to nap. Although I am a sentimental soul, I didn't expect to have tears well up from this particular book, a story about a boy, his mother, their family and missed opportunities. I picked up the book because I like Mitch Albom's work and had truly enjoyed Tuesdsays with Morrie and The 5 people You Meet in Heaven. I was intrigued by the question, "What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one?" As many of you know, my grandparents have greatly influence my life and my choices so I immediately thought of them. In the end, that wasn't what was going through my mind. Maybe my tears were from the 5 days I spent with my parents and sister "back home". Maybe it was the time of the day. Maybe it was the air pressure. All I know is that I was touched by Mitch Albom's new book, for one more day. It is a must read.

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So I've been questioned about what really happened on that phone call and why it was so special. O.K. -- you caught me. While the story was true, I intentionally left out a few details to protect the innocent. Actually, I didn't fully disclose everything because the conversation was pretty funny and caught me off guard.....especially considering I was speaking to one of the special agents at the Office of Investigations for Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Remember, I worked for the government and while I may not always agree with specific political agendas or policies, I am proud to live and work in the United States of America. But, I was not expecting the humor and kindness I received from this phone call. (Aahh, yes, never judge a book by its cover.) Without realizing it, so much of what we do happens on an unconscious level. Our mind has imprinted thousands of stories that we replay over and over. The elements of Upside Thinking seek to change self-imposed limits that you may be unaware exist in your life. If you want to hear more about my experience with this special agent, how to become an Upside Thinker or how to change, give me a ring.

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I stumbled upon a fellow upside thinker in a most unusual place and discovered leadership at its best. Here's what happened....I needed to speak to a representative from a large agency and couldn't find the telephone number for the office I needed to contact. I tried several places to track down their number and was unsuccessful. I called information, scanned the Internet and dialed 411 again with no luck. Finally, I decided to call their sister organization with the hopes that someone working there would give me their number. I called, someone answered and was put on hold. (It didn't seem promising.) Within 2 minutes, someone else picked up and asked who I was holding for (definately didn't appear promising but I'm an upside thinker so I wasn't giving up.). After 5 more minutes had passed, the person who answered came back on the line and gave me the number!!! (There was no reason for him to research the number or help me out....unless he were an upside thinker.) I was speechless (but not for long)! I let him know how much I appreciated his efforts, thanked him for his U-Power and nominated him Upside Thinker of the Day. You could be next.....

Ride the Upside!

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Some days turn out better than you ever imagined. October 3, 2006 was one of those days. I woke up excited, ready to start my assignment as "Principal for a Day" at Highland Elementary, shadowing Ms. Tena Petix, Principal of the school. Because I spend very little time with children and was an A student growing up who rarely saw the principal, I didn't fully comprehend the role and responsibilities of "principalship". I went on the Internet several days before to read about the school and the job I would be assuming and thought "I can do this".

The day started out like any other and I ended up lost in my own town, with my Mapquest directions offering me no assistance whatsoever. I assumed that the bridge I vaguely remembered that had closed a long time ago had re-opened because Mapquest suggested I use it. After following detour signs galore and driving for 45 minutes (the school is 4.3 miles from my house), I finally reached Highland Elementary, where dozens of cars were slowly pulling up to the front of the building and children were exiting and running inside. I asked the authority person I saw that I was to meet with Ms. Petix and asked where I could park. She directed me to "Diane", a woman wearing a safety vest who looked like she knew what she doing. She pointed me in the right direction and, while I'm embarrased to admit I was 10 minutes late, the real adventure began.

Ms. Tena Petix was standing outside the office, speaking to one of the parents. She introduced herself, immediately knowing who I was, a stranger in her land, and sent me inside. Wearing a bold Chico's red jacket and black long skirt, she had a commanding presence about her and I could sense she was well respected. As I walked to her office, there were two young boys outside her door and two waiting in her office. They had that "busted" look on their faces. All I know is that it wasn't even quarter to 9! When Ms. Petix joined me, she explained that she had already been at the park with the police in the morning, dealing with an incident and that the two in her office were sent in for fighting. She sat and counseled the two boys in a way that had me spellbound. With more emotional intelligence than I see displayed by corporate executives, she delved into accountability and responsibility, doling it out simply enough that I was dying to take notes.

The whole day was like this. I followed her around campus for hours. Ms. Petix knew all of the students names (and I mean hundreds and hundreds of students). She shared insights into the past, present and future of education, discussing Measure B improvements (including $$$ for special non-toxic dirt at the library in progress), REEF grants (most recently, an upcoming garden project for the Special Education program) , PRIDE and the latest and greatest technology. I saw it used in a 6th grade writing class on a poetry assignment. Truly amazing! (The same 6th grade teacher purchased 4 of the computers and built a computer lab which he donated to the school.)

Every minute was meaningful and everyone I met seemed to have the same enthusiasm for the school. I met high school mentors, retired teachers and a 6th grader serving as a reading "coach" to younger classmates. Between the homophones and student id's, there were stories of real kids struggling to succeed. Some of them come to school hungry or without proper clothes. There was a little boy with a brain tumor and a memorial for a little girl who died of cancer. Struggling with child care issues, Ms. Petix recently found out that there was a little girl left in the park, unsupervised, for three hours every day. I met Daisy, a fabulous young woman, who shared how she used the computer to advance in reading. And, the pledge of allegiance said proudly that I was teary-eyed.

When we went back to her office, she stressed how her job was all about relationships. She had mentored several teachers who had gone on to be principals. She shared her experiences at another school and how she needed to connect with neighborhood gang members. Ms. Petix shared the importance of empowing others to speak up. She not only spoke of ethics and accountability, she walked her talk. Her daily example gives her students life skills worth modeling.

I believe that everything rises and falls on leadership. Because of the direction of Ms. Petix, I witnessed excellence in action today. She likened her job to being a social worker who was also responsible for teaching kids how to read. I laughed. If it were only that simple. Her vision, values and voice make the world a better place to be. And I left exhausted.

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Wowee! What a week!

Monday -- Ursula and I left for the governor's conference on Monday afternoon. We arrived in Long Beach at the Courtyard Marriott and were excited to put the final touches on our book. Because the hotel didn't have wireless access, we packed our stuff and headed over to the Classic Cup coffee shop. I'm always on the lookout for good customer service. Not just because it makes me happy but also becasue I'm always in need of stories for my presentations. (That's right -- I'm eye spying out there.) The owner and cashier were courteous, helpful, funny and just plain fabulous and we accomplished a ton of work. We actually stayed all afternoon and closed the place down. Athough we had yummy gelato at Classic Cup, it was 5:30 p.m. and I needed some good eats. We met up with our friends and dined at Utopia, another great customer service story. Our waiter, Matt, was very laid back and patient. He came back three times and shared what his favorites were with honesty. Kudos to Matt and Utopia! While Ursula and I went back to our room and worked some more, the evening was filled with laughter and I had a great time. Lesson #1: Being a business owner means you work more than 40 hours a week. A lot more. Lesson #2: Work should be fun. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

TuesdayI -- The California Governor and First Lady's conference for Women. Yes, I had a great time there as well. Imaging 14,000 powerful and dynamic women all gathered together! It was amazing! The energy, the conversation, the bonding. Ursula and I shopped the 1st part of the day as I waited anxiously to hear the His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak. Let me tell you, Maria Shriver is the bomb! She talked about the importance and need to stand still amongst all of the striving, going, doing and performing. She said that sometimes we need to disconnect in order to get connected. Amen, sister! We heard Suze Orman, Viviene Cox, The Terminator, Tim Russert, Anna Quindlen (who wrote one of my favorites, A Short Guide to a Happy Life), Anne Sweeney, Sarah Ferguson and yes, the Dalai Lama whose image and message are forever imprinted on my brain. Lesson # 3: Slow down and breathe.

Wednesday -- The Inland Empire Women's Conference -- Yes. I left the governor's conference on cloud 9 only to rush home (wasn't the message to slow down?!?) and finish preparing for the today. I had the time of my life and was honored to present at this event. 400 super-fabulous women all in one place. The energy felt like I had been transported to the stadium after the Yankees had won the World Series a decade ago. Incredible! My presentation on leadership went extremely well and I've got pictures to share. Three lovely ladies shared their committment to excellence with the group and we'll be following up with them. Hats off to Cherie for putting the finishing touches on my presentation packets! You'll never believe what she went through. Lesson #4: In the end, "it" always works out.

Thursday -- I had client meetings, our monthly For You meeting, a NAWBO-IE mixer and dinner with a dear friend on the calendar. From sun up to sun down, my work at Upside Thinking is rewarding. However, the best part of the whole day was being surrounded by people who care about me. My friend Christie let me pick my favorite restaurant so we could celebrate my birthday month. The food at Anthony's was delicious, as alwasy. I feel as if I've been transported to Little Italy in New York. The waiter, Brad, brought out a cake and sang "happy birthday". Typically, this scares me but he went above and beyond all night long and was another example of great customer service in the world. I'm blessed to have so many wonderfully supportive friends. Lesson #5: Riding the upside is easier with good friends.

Posted by LMP at 06:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

September 11, 2001.

In my workshops on change management, I share that this was the day that brought much change to my life both personally and professionally. I had been working for the United States Customs Service in Newark, New Jersey and we had offices in the Trade Center - Tower 7. On that fateful day, I had arrived at the Federal law enforcement training center in Glynco, Georgia to shadow a communications class I would be teaching.

What is now referred to as "9/11", changed my future job possibilities and current job responsibilites. September 11th was the catalyst for discussions in Congress about creating an agency that shared resources and operated more efficiently. In this new organization, communication was to be effective and information shared openly. That organization broke apart existing organizations and built a mega-agency known as the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). My job offer as the Port Director in Denver, Colorado was recinded through "restructuring" and my role in my former organization had changed, as I was now part of Customs and Border Protection. In my new role, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to work with consultants and design a supervisory training program for future leaders of DHS. (I still feel extremely blessed to have worked on that team with so many talented individuals, one of whom is my husband.) What I've failed to mention thus far is that the person I was dating at the time was unaffected and unsympathetic about the events that occured on September 11th, which ended our relationship. (Thank heavens! See previous paragraph...) How anyone could have been untouched by the images on the television that day still amazes me!

Lastly, I lost my dear friend and mentor, Anthony Infante. He was a hero to me, not because he gave his life, because he gave great advice, taught me how to be a "tough" upside thinker and shared leadership lessons that will last a lifetime. Interestingly enough, two weeks before the buildings came crashing down, Tony gave me a crystal replica of the Twin Towers -- what he referred to as a touristy knick-knack. To all of the unsung heroes, like Tony, who provide leadership insight and mentoring without expecting anything in return......thank you.

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My husband, Jim, and I went to see an incredible movie this afternoon! I was looking forward to going to see "Invincible" for two reasons: 1) free air conditioning -- it has been 110 degrees in Riverside this weekend and 2) the movie is set in Philadelphia, PA, where I spent much of my youth. Based on a true story, it is about the life of Vince Papale, who played for the Philadelphia Eagles for three seasons.

My grandfather wanted grandsons and he got my sister, Pamela, and I, so I learned to love every sport imaginable and enjoy most sports films. I often get asked the question"don't you love Southern California?" by native Californians and, in many respects, I do. However, there is something mystical and magical about going home. As I sat in the theatre, I took a trip back to the old row homes and blue-collar neighborhoods of my hometown. I visited with the neighbors who cared about my future and sat in the local bar with "characters" that reminded me of my grandfathers friends (which by the way was where I learned to play darts, pool and shuffleboard).

While I was allowed to take a trip down memory lane, there were also valuable leadership lessons throughout the movie for me to reflect on, as well. Take chances. Laugh. Humility is a virtue -- and rare to find. One person can make a difference. Find the good in others -- always. Choose to be kind before being right. And, lastly, as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Go Vince!

Invincible Movie official website.

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